brightlotusmoon: (Asha)
Quotes to repost to blog:

Also, in addition to being a really fecking stupid idea, trying to discourage the use of labels is an utterly futile one. Referring to definable concepts using words is human nature. Centuries of biological and cultural evolution has created a species that NAMES things. It is among our most fundamental psychological drives. We are the species of science and of literature; of identification and expression. We are Pan narrans, the Storytelling Chimpanzee. Verbal communication is OURS, as a field, like hardiness belongs to the cockroaches and swimming belongs to the fish. Our species is too intimately tied to the concept to back out now. When one encounters a concept that has no name, it is hard-to-impossible for a human being to avoid naming it, if only in the privacy of their own head. Labels are not only part of how we communicate, they are part of how we think. I see a chair, my brain says “chair”. I see that someone is upset, my brain says “upset”. It is difficult to efficiently think about something that does not have a name, and even more difficult to do so without resorting to making one up. Have you ever actually sat down and tried to find and list lexical gaps in your own language? It is nigh-impossible to do so without noticing two things: firstly, that there is very little that we don’t yet have a word for, and secondly, that our instinctive reaction upon identifying such a lacuna is to think “This thing totally SHOULD have a name.” So it has been since not long after we first developed what would later be labelled “sapience”. To oppose the use of verbal labels is to declare oneself to be a glitch in human development; an evolutionary throwback to those wordless days when Homo sapiens wasn’t yet capable of living up to its own name.
Basically, if you actually used words, made out of letters, to type a statement of opposition towards the concept of labels, then your argument is invalid and you have already lost.

I care because of all the time I spent lost in the wilderness, thinking something was missing. I care because of all the time I spent looking at other people and seeing that I was fundamentally different than them, thinking something must be broken inside me. I care because of all the time I spent not knowing where I fit in the world, thinking that I must not fit anywhere.

I care because I don’t want anyone else to go through what I went through.

I have a place now. I have a name for me.

I’m not broken anymore.

I can’t make you understand what it’s like to go through that, but I can tell you that it brings tears to my eyes when I think about how many questioning people in the asexual tag I’ve helped to realize that yes, actually, they are asexual, and no, that’s not a bad thing, and yes, that’s a real orientation and yes, it’s okay to describe yourself that way. People are confused and hurting, and they need to hear that their experiences are legitimate. If a simple label can help, then so be it.

If you have a problem with people affixing words to themselves as a means of reassurance and consolation, then you can shove it. Your opinion is irrelevant. Every other set of people who uses some label — don’t need to justify their choices to you. They owe you no explanation. And yet the internet is littered with explanations if you know how to find them, because people like you are so numerous that they’re compelled to write everything from snippets to essays to articulate what you failed to figure out on your own.

Why is it even necessary for them to explain to you, hm? Why do you need to hear it in the first place? Why do you want to stop us from making ourselves feel a little better after being ground under the heel of normativity? Here’s an idea: instead of asking why they think it’s “necessary” to label themselves, ask yourself why you object to it. And for Pete’s sake, don’t give me that “limiting yourself” crap.

Ah, man, so many people have so many issues with labels and it doesn’t make sense that they do. Most of the time, I feel that people have angst with labels because they don’t want to admit that the shoe fits, like people who dislike the word “bisexual” but prefer to be “heteroflexible” which is just another label to describe being bisexual but with some sort of difference (which is really no difference).

I ‘preach’ to people that without labels, we would be unable to identify the world around us – and it’s necessary and vital to our existence that we do this – we can’t function without labels and, as such, all we need to do is know what they are, how they’re applied, stuff like that, and just get on with our lives. But, we also know that words have power and that some words can be used as weapons and to attack each other at the most personal of levels… and all because of the ages-old mentality of “if you’re not with us, you’re against us” and that habit we have of wanting to destroy that which is not like us.

Labels don’t upset me because they can only have that kind of power if I allow it – I choose not to allow it and I can’t really understand why other people choose to give them this kind of negative power.
brightlotusmoon: (Snow White Ruby Blood Dragon Witch)
Quote from a friend that applies to me in a scary way:

"If you really feel like picking a fight with me, you will have to wait until tomorrow afternoon. I'll need at least two good meals, some meditation, a comedy film, a squeezable exercise toy in one hand, and a muscle relaxant drug that will help me type properly without muscle pains and tensions.
This is why I like arguing online: We each get our points across without interrupting shouts, we can research and cite our sources properly, we can explain exactly why the other person's argument is fallible, we can defend our own position logically and rationally, we can actually get words in edgewise without stammering and snarling from both sides, and we can save our vocal chords from getting sore.
I hate debating in person. My opponent loves to tell me exactly what is wrong with me in ways that don't even make sense, and he or she refuses to let me explain why that argument has no basis in reality.
Let's say, for example, that he or she decides to pick on the fact that I have a terrible memory in general but I can easily quote my favorite books and movies. Do you know why I can easily quote my favorite books and movies? Because they are my favorite books and movies. It has absolutely nothing to do with having a poor memory overall. It just means that I've read certain books and watched certain films often enough to at least paraphrase, if not fully recite, entire lines of dialogue. See, people with brain issues such as autism spectrum disorders are able to do things like that. Having a disintegrating memory while being able to recall very specific things does not mean that I am pretending to have a selective memory, and frankly I feel insulted when it is implied and inferred.
I am chronologically young and neurologically aging. I also have many friends going through the exact same process. I talk about my experiences often, so people like me can know that they are not alone.
If you want to fight me about that, if you want to accuse me of deliberately living inside my brain disorders, please come inside my brain disorders. They're all connected, so it's like a fantastic patchwork house. My brain has a very comfortable couch. Would you like some tea? I just got some red tea. I have decorated it with my disorders proudly. They are part of me, after all. They are part of who I am. Aren't they beautiful? Like shiny, sparkly, broken puzzles. I may never find the missing pieces. That's fine, though.
Did you know that in Japan, when a ceramic sculpture is broken, they weave gold through the piece when putting it back together? Kintsugi: the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold. The idea behind it is that the piece becomes more beautiful and valuable because it has been broken and has a history. I am full of gold-filled cracks. I am very proud of that. I am proud of my disabled and handicapped history. My life is made of gold!
Oh, please don't look upset! No, no, please, sit comfortably. I hope the tea is to your liking. Yes, even that mug has gold fillings, Even the couch is sewn with gold. This entire place is filled in with gold. And it is lovely.
Wait! Did you mean that I use my disabilities like crutches to make excuses for being in pain? That's ridiculous. I mean, I certainly don't mind magical thinking, but you can't make something that extreme happen just by imagining it. I'm not imagining it. I'm living in the right now. And, like many disabled people, my right now means having a body and a brain that feel more injured and aged than normal. I talk about this so that others like me understand, so they have answers to questions they are too worried to ask. Sometimes when you approach age thirty it can feel like age sixty, for some of us. That is why I am an activist for certain disabilities and an advocate for certain health treatments.
Oh! Oh, my! Is that also why you're angry at me? Do you believe that I use my medical problems as an excuse to do nothing while I am young? That is the silliest and most untrue thing anyone has ever assumed. Perhaps you should talk to some of my disabled activist friends. They will tell you the same thing. Life is hard for everybody. But it is sometimes a little bit harder for disabled people. We're not special snowflakes. Although snow and cold do sometimes make us hurt more!
Have some more tea. It's very calming. We need to be calm for this fight.
Just let me know when you are ready to fight. I need to do some meditative qi gong exercises to prepare. Just please keep in mind that I would rather we each complete a piece of debate without yelling over each other. It is much more difficult to weave healing gold threads through words."
-Written By A Disabled Gentleman Who Shall Remain Anonymous, And Who Reflects My Exact Thoughts, Feelings, and Personal Beliefs With Incredibly Frightening Accuracy To The Point Where I Could Have Written Most Of This In Various Bits. Not Kidding, I Think This Guy Shares My Writerbrain.

Anyway, speaking of the art of using gold to heal broken things!
http://www.pinterest.com/uberECOcool/kintsugi-saving-broken-ceramics-with-gold/
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
[Scene: Planet Express: Lounge. Fry and Bender lie back on the couch. Fry holds a can of Slurm and Bender holds a can of beer. Enter Hermes.]
Hermes: What in the name of Bob Marley's ghost? Get to work, you lazy boat bag!
[He rolls up the paper and hits Bender with it.]
Bender: Ow!
[Fry chuckles. Hermes hits him.]
Fry: Ow! Hey, quit it, Hermes. It's Labor Day.
Hermes: Labor Day? That phoney-baloney holiday crammed down our throats by fat-cat union gangsters?
Fry: That's the one.
Hermes: Hot damn, a day off!
[He takes off his jacket and shirt and sits between Fry and Bender. Bender hands him a beer. The rest of the staff walk in wearing and carrying various things. Zoidberg wears an old-fashioned green striped swimsuit and a lobster rubber ring around his waist; Amy wears a pink bikini and carries a fold-up chair; Leela wears her green swimsuit with the hole around the navel and carries a picnic bag; Farnsworth carries a red parasol and wears 3/4-length shorts, though he still wears his lab coat and slippers.]
Leela: Who's up for one last summer beach trip?
[Bender and Hermes leap up.]
Bender: Aw, yeah!
Hermes: Ready, Freddy!
[He unzips his trousers and they fall around his ankles revealing his swimming trunks underneath. Fry stays on the couch.]
Fry: (unenthusiastic) Eh, I think I'll just stay here.
Leela: Fry, you're wasting your life sitting in front of that TV. You need to get out and see the real world.
[She walks between him and the TV. Fry peers around her.]
Fry: But this is HDTV. It's got better resolution than the real world!
[Leela sighs.]
Leela: Everyone's too polite to say anything but you're covered with bed sores.
Fry: Not covered!
Leela: Just get in the car.
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
http://io9.com/5916403/how-to-have-a-near-death-experience
I was technically born this way, three months premature, and it happened again in my neonatal ICU incubator. And it kind of happens a lot throughout my life, especially during times of viciously extreme stress, and during some epileptic seizures. I'm not dying, I don't see gods or magic people, I don't see dead people. But I do see lights and tunnels. And I do touch something outside this reality that is powerful and inexplicable and indescribable. It's fascinating and weird. All I know is that We Are Not Alone. Even if it is merely our higher selves reaching through the universe into Other Places. To quote Babylon 5 ... we are the universe trying to understand itself.
http://www.movietvquotes.com/u/universe_quotes.html
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
"If I take a lamp and shine it toward the wall, a bright spot will appear on the wall. The lamp is our search for truth, for understanding. Too often we assume that the light on the wall is God. But the light is not the goal of the search; it is the result of the search. The more intense the search, the brighter the light on the wall. The brighter the light on the wall, the greater the sense of revelation upon seeing it! Similarly, someone who does not search, who does not bring a lantern with him, sees nothing. What we perceive as God, is the byproduct of our search for God. It may simply be an appreciation of the light, pure and unblemished, not understanding that it comes from us. Sometimes we stand in front of the light and assume that we are the center of the universe. God looks astonishingly like we do! Or we turn to look at our shadow, and assume that all is darkness. If we allow ourselves to get in the way, we defeat the purpose, which is to use the light of our search to illuminate the wall in all its beauty - and in all its flaws. And in so doing better understand the world around us."
-G'Kar, Babylon 5: Meditations on the Abyss, Season 5 Episode 14
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
"What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason! How infinite in faculty! In form and moving how express and admirable! In action how like an angel! In apprehension how like a god! The beauty of the world! The paragon of animals! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me: no, nor woman neither, though by your smiling you seem to say so."

"The Universe speaks in many languages, but only one voice.
The language is not Narn or Human or Centauri or Gaim or Minbari.
It speaks in the language of hope. It speaks in the language of trust.
It speaks in the language of strength, and the language of compassion.
It is the language of the heart and the language of the soul.
But always it is the same voice.
It is the voice of our ancestors speaking through us.
And the voice of our inheritors waiting to be born.
It is the small, still voice that says we are One.
No matter the blood, no matter the skin,
No matter the world, no matter the star,
We are One.
No matter the pain, no matter the darkness,
No matter the loss, no matter the fear.
We are One.
Here, gathered together in common cause
We agree to recognize this singular truth and this singular rule:
That we must be kind to one another.
Because each voice enriches us and ennobles us,
And each voice lost diminishes us.
We are the voice of the universe, the soul of creation,
The fire that will light the way to a better future.
We are One."
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
"I believe that there are currents in the universe. Eddies and tides that pull us one way or the other. Some we have to fight, some we have to embrace. Unfortunately, the currents that we have to fight look exactly like the currents we have to embrace. The currents that we think are gonna make us stronger, they're the ones that are going to destroy us, and the ones we think are going to destroy us, they're the ones that are going to make us stronger."

--Vir Cotto to Londo Mollari, when asked if he believed in fate. Babylon 5, Season 2 Episode 3, "The Geometry of Shadows"

This is me

Jul. 30th, 2009 12:38 pm
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
"I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending a lot of time trying to remember what it is I wrote down, I spend the time looking for the paper I wrote it down on."
- Beryl Pfizer

My leg muscles ache, and my hips ache, and my shoulders ache, and the baseline pain is exactly like a very hot electrical current starting at the base of my spine and moving downward then upward. It's all right. I will be going for a walk later, then some yoga exercises will help stretch out the problems. Soma tonight.
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
"I figure all religions are good. They all make sense on paper; it's just the exploitation of religion that's been a problem, by ... people using religion to justify war, or to justify government or, you know, 'God made me do it.'" - Harold Ramis
http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/Movies/06/18/year.one.cast/index.html
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
"Happiness is always a by-product. It is probably a matter of temperament, and for anything I know it may be glandular. But it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you had better stop worrying about it and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness."
- Robertson Davies

Every day, I think about one thing that makes me happy, no matter how trivial or superficial. My new handbag, or a new lipstick, or a friend doing something awesome, or a new book, or the way my cat Luna snuggles with my husband.
Try it.
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better to take things as they come along with patience and equanimity.
-Carl Jung
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
"I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it."
-Jack Handey

I'm going to think about the wonderful happy feeling I got upon unexpectedly running into [livejournal.com profile] franny_glass for the very first time, in the Bethesda metro station yesterday. I mean, holy shit, it was awesome. We stared at each other and kept saying "Wow" and "Oh my god" and "Hi!" It was so amazing, because I never thought we would meet face to face for the first time on a Wednesday afternoon in a metro station. She's so small and pretty.
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
"Truth is a multi-faceted thing, after all. It's hard to see it all at once. You have to turn it around in your hands. Hold it up in different slants of light." -Justine Musk, Lord of Bones
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
I swear I'm going to stop feeling so exhausted any minute now...
Right... now! Right now! Now! Now! Now...nnnnnow! Nnnnnnow!

Nope.

Must keep going! Must keep going! Oh, I can't, I can't keep going. Yes, you can! No, I can't! Oh, shut up! You shut up! No, you! No, you! No, you! Oh, real mature. How could you say that?!... Oh what's the point?

My brain isn't buying it either. It says, "Oh, you don't want to know what I really think. Now look sad and say D'oh."


D'oh.


My feeble attempt at humor while my abused central nervous system and musculoskeletal structure go haywire and try to destroy my sanity. Yay!

It matters

Jul. 13th, 2008 02:01 pm
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
A quote for me, dealing with multiple chronic illnesses and invisible disabilities:

"It's not what I wanted. Frankly, it scares the hell out of me, but it had to be done. The job now is to turn this around and make it into something positive. My dad always told me that's the only way you deal with pain. You don't surrender, you don't fight it--you turn it into something positive. He used to say, 'If you're falling off a cliff, you may as well try to fly. You've got nothing to lose.'"
-John Sheridan, Babylon 5 (Season 4 Episode 2: "Whatever Happened To Mr. Garibaldi?")

A quote for Dana, my main character, dealing with potential ultimate sacrifice:

"You can't turn away from death simply because you're afraid of what might happen without you. That's not enough. You're not embracing life, you're fleeing death. So you're caught in between, unable to go forward or backward. Your friends need what you can be when you are no longer afraid--when you know who you are, and why you are, and what you want. When you are no longer looking for reasons to live, but can simply be."
"I can't... I don't know how to do that."
"Then I cannot help you, and you will be caught forever in between. You must let go. Surrender yourself to death. The death of flesh. The death of fear. Step into the abyss... and let go."
"It's getting darker."
"I know. You're close, friend. Very close. It's easy to find something worth dying for. Do you have anything worth living for?"
"I can't see you anymore..."
"As it should be."
"What if I fall? How will I know if you'll catch me?"
"I caught you before."
"What if I die?"
"I cannot create life, but I can breathe on the remaining embers. It may not work."
"But I can hope..."
"Hope is all we have."
-Lorien and John Sheridan, Babylon 5 (Season 4 Episode 2: "Whatever Happened To Mr. Garibaldi?")
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
"Y helo thar. I iz Inigo Montoya. U killz my father. U can has stabbity."

Good words

Jun. 19th, 2008 03:16 pm
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
"I'd like to think it's because I'm not neither here nor there in my life. I think anybody that makes a decision about where they stand is going to cause strong opinions about them. But I think that's what you should be hoping for in life, so I take that as a very good sign. That some people support me and some people really don't like me tells me that I'm making decisions and I'm standing strong for something I believe in. I'm making choices in life. And that’s the right thing to do." -Angelina Jolie
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
"Can I say something about destiny? Screw destiny. If this evil thing comes, we'll fight it and we'll keep fighting it till we whoop it. Because destiny is just another word for inevitable. And nothing is inevitable as long as you stand up, look it in the eye and say, 'You're evitable.'"
-Winifred Burkle, as played by Amy Acker on "Angel"
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
"Knowing love, I can allow for all things to come and go. To be as supple as the wind. And to face all things with great courage. My heart is as open as the sky."
-Kama Sutra (the movie)

They keep telling me how strong I am.
One day, I will believe it.
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
"I believe in everything until it's disproved. So, I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it's in your mind. Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now?" -John Lennon

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