brightlotusmoon: (Snow White Blood Red Light Pale)
[personal profile] brightlotusmoon
You guys, I amaze myself. I've been writing helter skelter all over the place: Novel, stories, novellas, blogs, facebook, notebooks with various pens, everywhere... in the middle of a postictal migraine and insanely horrific agonizing chronic pain flare-up following recovery from a panic attack. If I didn't have a computer or paper I might write on the walls. I hurt so badly I have no idea what I'm doing. I feel half fire and half water. Wild and raging, and all I want is a crackling bonfire and a rushing river.
I doctored up a photo of myself and it came out half gold light and half blue light. It looks inhuman. But part of me adores it so much. My face is two different parts. I am two entities in one. When I burn, I am cool. When I am cool, I burn. It is ying yang, dragon phoenix, up and down, left and right, I don't even know. I don't speak out loud except to my cats, I just speak through Story. So much Story inside me.
That rock. That rock that my husband gave me, the rock that he held while standing in Room 217 of the Stanley Hotel, in which Stephen King wrote "The Stand" and used as an inspiration for "The Shining". That rock is still next to my laptop. I am covered in words. I am filled up with Words. I may disappear into Story. I may not even see the world until I have to.
Is this what it is like to live in the land of the Fae and then come back to the land of humans?

jowitchzen2

Maybe it was the super moon. Maybe it is the heat from the sun now. Maybe it is anything.

Date: 2013-06-26 12:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chaosvizier.livejournal.com
I wish I had your power to write. I sit there and want to write and nothing happens. And when something does happen, only terrible things pop out. Cheeky writing!

Date: 2013-06-26 07:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com
That happens to me so much. It's actually why it's taken me so long to submit my novel manuscript to agencies.

There's a book I'm currently reading called "The Midnight Disease: The Drive To Write, Writer's Block, And The Creative Brain." By Alice W. Flaherty. I highly recommend it. My mother sent it to me when I was in a depressive episode. Reading in that state really sparked my thoughts. It talks a lot about Hypergraphia - which I actually kind of want. It means never having standard writer's block. But it also means being unable to stop writing.

Like that issue of Neil Gaiman's Sandman when a blocked author kidnaps a muse, Calliope, and becomes extremely famous, and then Morpheus finds him, and curses him with what would be a severe extreme form of hypergraphia, and he winds up writing on walls with bloody fingernails because of all the stories exploding in his head.

Date: 2013-06-26 09:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chaosvizier.livejournal.com
I loved that Sandman story. Then again, I loved pretty much all Sandman stories. Even the horrific ones. Or maybe especially.

I guess I write NaNo because of this - forcing myself to write no matter what. Somehow it motivates me when it doesn't work the rest of the year. Cheeky brain.

Date: 2013-06-26 07:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com
Also, hey, are you on Facebook? I keep forgetting to ask. If you are, just find me under "Joanna Capello Paul"

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