here is gone

[brightlotusmoon]

And then she shoved herself through the window, and on the other side there was
nothing
but mist and sand and a hollowness.

She pulled shards from her skin
Looked around and she was alone
She thought they would be here
Perhaps she had not saved them
Or perhaps it was just too dark.

I have not told anyone. Yet.
Maybe I should have when it started.
Sometimes it suffocates, this fear, the way it becomes pain
But no matter how many layers I cut through it's too far
It used to be right here, so close it was in my hands
All the time, everywhere
And it could have been an affliction (they like to call it an affliction)
I couldn't go anywhere without it following
And now where did it go,
There is nothing but mist and sand and a hollowness.

Perhaps... I should listen to their whispers
Perhaps... I should start at the end and move backward
Ignore everything that is in the now and go to the end of it all

Would that help?

Would that bring me -- her -- them -- us
Back to life?

I think I will.
Yes.
So there.
So, there.

So...