Being Alice: Two Minutes, On The Outside

[brightlotusmoon]

Complex partial seizure lasting roughly two minutes. I was in the wheelchair at my laptop, reading LiveJournal. I felt it start at the base of my spine, shivering upward. I heard myself say, "Fuck, fuck, fuck, oh no, no no no no..."
Adam asked, "What is it? What hurts?"
I shook my head and doubled over, wrapping my arms around my midsection, "Not hurting, no."
He came over, began massaging my shoulders. "Spasms?"
"No," I gasped, as the sensation reached the base of my neck. "No, not spasm, no..."
My entire body jerked and tightened. I sucked in a breath and began to breathe shallowly. I disconnected. This wasn't happening to me, it was just my body. I floated just above my skull, as the storm struck my brain, lighting my temporal lobe full of fireworks and lightning. I was gasping and gasping, rocking slowly. Adam's hands tightened on my shoulders and he began to massage me deeply, breathing slowly, lowering his head so his mouth was against my ear. He breathed in my ear, encouragement. I tried to slow my breathing, I tried to not panic. I whimpered and gasped and rocked. The seizure raced up and down my nerves, tracing patterns under my skin. I felt myself start to fall apart, fade away, blink out of existence.
Adam pressed the fingers of his right hand against a particularly vicious knot on my right shoulder. Pain flared and shot through me, white-hot and solid.
The storm shattered. Sensation fled out of my spine, straight up my neck, exploding out of my crown chakra.
The seizure passed.
I slid back into myself. I began breathing normally.
"Pain," I said, surprised. "It brought me out."
"Mm," Adam said, massaging further. He kissed my cheek and nuzzled me.
I swallowed. "Post-ictal symptoms may happen over the next few hours. I might act weird. I need to take a shower and go to bed. If I act weird, don't worry."
My voice sounded so hollow. I still didn't feel completely there. Half in, half out. I barely felt real. It was an incredible, bizarre sensation.

I still feel that way, ten minutes later.
It will pass.
It will pass.

Comments

[walksbeauty.livejournal.com]

bless you , sweetheart... glad it passed quickly... it seems you learned something new... interesting. I'm glad Adam was there with you.. feel better today and rest!

[quicksilver555.livejournal.com]

That is a very intense description of what happened.I must say you are indeed a gifted writer(I write so I look at others' ways of conveying a message)

also,I cant relate to some of that...problem is,my memory almost always goes as my conciousness is rarely preserved

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I tend to write my seizure episodes the way I feel them; very disconnected.
This entry is still one of my favorites:
http://rosefox8.livejournal.com/790630.html