brightlotusmoon: (Default)
brightlotusmoon ([personal profile] brightlotusmoon) wrote2009-01-06 08:57 pm

Staggering

Today was one of those Very Bad Days.
The cerebral palsy took the lead, causing violent spasms and tension in my legs. My quadriceps were extraordinarily tense; I couldn't walk without pain. I could barely go up and down stairs. Walking for more than ten minutes straight left me in tears. Standing for more than five minutes left me trembling.
I nearly broke down getting on the train home. A woman saw me and offered me her seat. The woman next to her also stood up, so the first woman and I sat together. She asked if I was okay, if this was common or sudden; she offered to get me to a hospital if I needed. I explained that it was my legs and that it was common. We got to talking, and she said that she had a friend with fibromyalgia and a friend with cerebral palsy, but she never knew anyone with both, and she had deep sympathy. She asked me if talking helped, and was happy when I said it did. She got off several stops before me. I rode all the way to Shady Grove smiling through my drying tears.

Adam massaged and stretched my legs a little while ago. I screamed, sobbed, and howled like a torture victim, but it worked. I can move... better. Although my personal habits haven't helped. I need to exercise and lose weight, but we knew that.

I did not take a Soma. The pain wasn't widespread, and the drug would have only been a temporary solution. I am planning on throwing that at the next online stranger who tells me I'll become addicted. I took a double dose of passion flower and a single dose of valerian. Those herbs have more long-lasting muscle relaxing power.

Adam's massage work has started taking effect, alongside the herbs. A hot shower will be next, followed by more stretching and meditation.

[identity profile] amigone.livejournal.com 2009-01-07 07:57 am (UTC)(link)
I can empathize with Adam regarding the stretching. I hate that it hurts my love when I help her stretch her legs, but it's worse if I don't. If I don't, I'm not the one inflicting pain, but I am the one not helping. But I make it worse temporarily when I help.

Kinda funny. I'm glad that the herbs help you.

[identity profile] brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com 2009-01-08 02:37 am (UTC)(link)
:(

Does she scream a lot?

[identity profile] brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com 2009-01-08 02:48 am (UTC)(link)
:(

Does she scream a lot?

[identity profile] natalief.livejournal.com 2009-01-07 01:52 pm (UTC)(link)
What an angel on the train!

*hugs*

[identity profile] walksbeauty.livejournal.com 2009-01-07 11:07 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm glad you had a supportive person with you.. Oh, Jo, I wish you felt better. Glad the herbs help you! gotta try the passionflower...

I noticed the last time I took a Soma I just cried instead of feeling better and then fell asleep hard for 2 hours... it kind of knocked me out... the last 2 times I just cried when it first came on....I don't' think it was the drug having the effect, I maybe just needed to release through crying when I felt a bit of relief... Pain sucks!It just sucks! I wish I could be more graceful about it all! sigh.. Bless you, dear!! Hope tomorrow is much better....