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brightlotusmoon ([personal profile] brightlotusmoon) wrote2011-05-16 06:20 pm
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Psychotherapy: Meeting

I'll call her Dr. Jen.
She was sweet, soft-spoken, and deeply kind just in her body language, just by the energy she exuded. She radiated compassion and understanding, and I was so instantly put at ease that when I sank down onto the black leather couch and put the soft pillow behind me, I felt almost at home. Dr. Jen sat across from me, with a notepad, and smiled, and said, "Okay."
I said, "Okay," and smiled. "I don't... I don't even know where to start," I said. She said that was fine. I told her I might as well start from the beginning. I told her about my premature birth, my brain damage, the cerebral palsy, my childhood. Words tumbled out of my mouth. I told her about writing science fantasy, about writing superhuman characters, about the seizures and the sleep problems and the anxiety and the sadness. Every so often, she gently asked to interrupt so she could write things down. She said that normally she would just let the patient talk and talk, and then she would write, but she could tell I was a unique case already. I told her everything about the diagnoses, the pains, the frustrations. I'd begun crying the instant I started talking about being born.
I've heard that when many people begin therapy, they don't even know what to talk about. I not only talked, I told the therapist exactly what I wanted out of these sessions. That impressed her. Next week's session will be very interesting.

Therapy

[identity profile] sapharin.livejournal.com 2011-05-16 10:27 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm proud of you! ♥

[identity profile] oneonthefence.livejournal.com 2011-05-16 10:39 pm (UTC)(link)
She said that normally she would just let the patient talk and talk, and then she would write, but she could tell I was a unique case already.

That's almost exactly what my psych said during our first meeting. I was kind of insulted at first, thinking, "great, another person who finds me too complicated, and she's just saying unique to be nice about it," but she meant it as "I think you're smart and talented and I wanted to listen." It's so hard to believe the good when you're drowning in the bad - so I know. But it's good she listened, and you felt comfortable opening up to her. That gives me faith that she'll be able to help!

My session today was - well, I wrote about it. Mondays will be our "let's post about therapy!" days, haha. <3

[identity profile] brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com 2011-05-16 11:33 pm (UTC)(link)
Oooh, I like that plan! Mondays will be LJ post about therapy days for us. :)

And yeah, I was so relieved to see that she really wanted to listen and help. She just let me talk, but she realized quickly that she also needed to document what I said - since it was a lot. But that kind look never faded from her eyes, so that's good. I think she was impressed and pleased that I talked so much in so much detail right away.

[identity profile] unico-love.livejournal.com 2011-05-17 12:01 am (UTC)(link)
I'm glad it went well! I hope it helps!:)

[identity profile] franny-glass.livejournal.com 2011-05-23 02:19 pm (UTC)(link)
What did you tell you were wanted out of the sessions?

[identity profile] brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com 2011-05-23 02:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Ways to help clamp my emotions down regarding my medical issues, ways to help me cope when people lash out, ways to stop crying over every little thing, but especially ways to find self-confidence, self-worth, and self-esteem. I've no idea where those things went.

[identity profile] franny-glass.livejournal.com 2011-05-23 02:42 pm (UTC)(link)
I hear ya.

I really hope Dr. Jen is a good one. It sounds promising thus far. It sounded like you were comfortable.

[identity profile] brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com 2011-05-23 03:22 pm (UTC)(link)
I did feel very comfortable. And I felt confident that she could help, even just a little. She seems highly relateable.