Close the shades
Feb. 3rd, 2012 04:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
brightlotusmoonThings are happening.
Other Things are starting to happen.
It is all extremely abrupt, most of it slightly upsetting but essentially fixable. I may be in a mental limbo for a few weeks. Klonopin might become my friend more than occasionally, which will be discussed with my doctors. Anxiety disorders kick you in the head like that.
I've been watching a forum post where one online friend has been tearing another online friend apart for a basic misunderstanding, and while I am on one side only, I am slowly realizing that when it comes to online fights, it's not worth it to keep going, to settle feuds. Just walk away. Let the grown-up children who live in fantasies have their anger, their obsessions, their beliefs that they are unable to stand up for themselves.
Adam has left for a week-long job in Las Vegas. Things may be happening at his company, but he is already putting his resume out just in case Things fall through. No matter what, I know we will be fine. But. You know. Crazy anxiety panicky brain is crazy anxious panicked. Good Things: Having my Luna and my Rose and my Jupiter, who are snuggly and loving all the time.
Recently, I have found a huge sense of strength and relief in chatting via Facebook with Mandi, who I've known for years through LJ, who I got to meet in person in 2010. She's one of my dearest friends, she understands everything right down to the pain and the crippling mental issues and the lack of energy and everything, all of it. She's one of those friends who I want to just wrap in my arms and not let go until I have somehow healed every pain inside her. Mandi, if you're reading this, I love you and thank you.
Eventually I will go socialize with people and go out. Or something. Not in such a mood today. How funny that I'd rather be faceless online right now.
Other Things are starting to happen.
It is all extremely abrupt, most of it slightly upsetting but essentially fixable. I may be in a mental limbo for a few weeks. Klonopin might become my friend more than occasionally, which will be discussed with my doctors. Anxiety disorders kick you in the head like that.
I've been watching a forum post where one online friend has been tearing another online friend apart for a basic misunderstanding, and while I am on one side only, I am slowly realizing that when it comes to online fights, it's not worth it to keep going, to settle feuds. Just walk away. Let the grown-up children who live in fantasies have their anger, their obsessions, their beliefs that they are unable to stand up for themselves.
Adam has left for a week-long job in Las Vegas. Things may be happening at his company, but he is already putting his resume out just in case Things fall through. No matter what, I know we will be fine. But. You know. Crazy anxiety panicky brain is crazy anxious panicked. Good Things: Having my Luna and my Rose and my Jupiter, who are snuggly and loving all the time.
Recently, I have found a huge sense of strength and relief in chatting via Facebook with Mandi, who I've known for years through LJ, who I got to meet in person in 2010. She's one of my dearest friends, she understands everything right down to the pain and the crippling mental issues and the lack of energy and everything, all of it. She's one of those friends who I want to just wrap in my arms and not let go until I have somehow healed every pain inside her. Mandi, if you're reading this, I love you and thank you.
Eventually I will go socialize with people and go out. Or something. Not in such a mood today. How funny that I'd rather be faceless online right now.
