To clarify

Ideal doesn't mean we'll get it. Ideal also means "not reality".
The townhouses we saw in Germantown had at least three bathrooms, four bedrooms, and were well under 250K. A basement might be nice, but we could live without one for a while. Remember, right now, I could care less about what we get as long as we get something. We're looking in Northern Virginia because it's closer to both Adam's work and to DC, and it's a teeny bit cheaper. But if we find something in Germantown or Silver Spring (which we did) that's fine too. We can always live there for two years and then sell for enough money to buy the ideal home.

Back spasms

And just to make the day more irritating, I'm not at work. Why? Because I can't move much.
I woke up this morning, half-asleep, and stumbled to the bathroom, realizing that something was wrong when I couldn't really walk -- more like stumble and drag. I made it back to the bed, where I promptly fell over onto the floor and didn't get up for five minutes. I woke Adam up with a small feeble mumble for help, and told him "something's wrong with my back, I can't move." He pulled me onto the bed and started massaging my lower back, and after I screamed a little, my entire lower body began spasming and shaking violently. This happened every time I stood up and tried to actually stand without leaning on anything for more than three seconds. I was literally falling over every time I tried to walk.
Naturally I was incredibly upset and angry. Adam suggested that I call in to work. "After I come back from my dentist appointment," he said, "we'll see how you are and I'll take you to the hospital." I spat out a hysterical protest, like "No, I'm fine" or something and he said, "Well, you can't walk down the aisle in that condition, can you?" I just closed my mouth and got back into bed. After a few minutes, I said, "You think this is my fault. You think I did this to myself." A split-second pause, and he said, "Maybe. Maybe it's stress." "Well, then," I said, "we don't need the hospital for that."
"Or," he said, with emphasis, "it could be something serious. Like the beginning of Lyme Disease. Or Multiple Sclerosis."
I pondered that for a minute. And then I called my boss and left a message that I wouldn't be in.
Adam got up at 9:30 to get ready for his appointment. He asked how my back was. I got up, stood up -- and fell over. He caught he and then picked me up and cracked my back. "I heard something pop," he said. I just felt numb. Like a part of my lower back was dead. But I definitely could feel my legs. Everything was working fine. There was just something in my lower back that was making me fall. Perhaps the sciatica is getting unfathomably worse. Or something's wrong with the lumbar disc. I guess we'll find out soon. If not the hospital, then an appointment with a doctor.
I'm sitting up, in the chair, to judge my body's reaction to sitting. My lower back feels like someone smashed a metal bar across it -- doesn't hurt, but there is a feeling of intense pressure, of spasticity, of clenching. My legs feel too heavy, like they couldn't support me if I stand. And, oddly enough, the muscles in my legs feel completely loose. Jelly-like. Not shaky, just loose. Very...very...loose.
I took 800 mgs of ibuprofen. Not sure what that will do. But it might ease the burning sciatic pain in both legs.
I'll wait for Adam to come home.
We still need to meet with our realtor and look at houses, and we still need to meet with that photographer. If I do go to the hospital, I am not letting either of those things slide. Adam will just go without me. And if he won't leave the hospital, I'll throw him out. If we go.
Whatever.
Stupid body.

Well, that's better

We're not going to the hospital. Good. Adam just came home, with new crowns on a few teeth. He's talking funny. My back and legs a a little stronger. Adam thinks it was the sciatica and possibly a partial. And yes, probably all that muscle-relaxing tea I drank yesterday. No more of that for a while! There's enough in my system.

However, we are going to visit the Golden Bull and see the room we'll be married in and partying in. And then we meet with our realtor, Phil. And then we meet with the photographer, Paul. And I still have to call that judge, Elaine. So maybe this will be a good day after all.

Jinx is right. I should talk to my friends. I may not realize how much stress I'm under, but my body does.

The plan so far

We went to the Golden Bull and checked out the room where the wedding and reception will take place. It's lovely, but it needs better lighting. The colors are red and brick -- I don't really like that. However, the blue and white and silver themes will make up for it. It can be set up so I can walk straight down a short aisle, supported by both parents (and I'll need them both!). And we can have the fifty guests sit on one side, with the bridal party table on the other, and the dance floor in the middle. No one but the bridal party will be dancing though -- we're making this short, sweet and simple. Main dance, parent dance, maybe a few dances with the other party members. We sat down with Paul, the photographer, at his house to discuss what we want. I love him. His work is gorgeous. And he's so much fun to talk to. He'll be doing formal, professional shots of the bridal party and a few random shots of everyone. My parents are supplying disposable cameras for all the tables, as well. There will be a cash bar, an a luncheon style meal. The ceremony itself starts at noon sharp, goes for half an hour, and then the reception will be until about three or three-thirty. Basically, the whole thing should wrap up by four at the latest. People will need to get home.
Saturday night, I want my girls to meet me at Charlotte's for a pre-wedding slumber party. Charlotte, Beca, Beth, and Heather -- plus Jinx, even though she's a guest (she's coming all the way from Manhattan, besides, and I haven't seen her in forever!) -- will help me figure out makeup and such, and then Sunday morning, we can head to the hotel, get me into my dress and shoes and do my makeup and hair -- unless I decide to get my hair styled professionally -- and meet Paul for pre-wedding photos at ten. Around eleven or so, we head to Golden Bull, where Paul will get photos of Adam and his boys, and where the girls and I will get ready for the aisle walk. *glee*
Adam wants me to wear my hair loose but crowned by a braid, a la Princess Bride, with flowers. That'll be incredibly romantic. The veil will probably be attached to a comb, which Heather and I can figure out (maybe use the shawl, and find something else to wrap around my waist, like a light blue or silver ribbon?).

Beca-girl, you and I need to do some girly squealing over a few things, like some stuff we were emailing about. One of these weekends, I'll need to get you down here so we can meet with Heather and Beth at Charlotte's house. I just need an excuse to kick my feet in the air and shriek happily.
Actually, I just need an excuse to feel happy(ier).

Oh! Magnolias!

The magnolia tree out front has blossomed. There are magnolia blossoms everywhere. Oh, they are magnificent. It's all over the front walk and the lawn. Magnolia is my favorite fragrant flower. We opened our bedroom window this morning, and Adam picked a flower right from the tree leaning against the house. It's in the little fish tank on top of the computer desk. Libby just said that one of the main reasons she'd bought this house was because of that tree. When Adam and I get our own house, I'm going to take some blossoms with me and root them, so we can have our own magnolia tree.
Magnolia makes me so happy.

This afternoon after our trip to the Golden Bull, Adam treated me to a trip to Special Treasures in Olde Towne Gaithersburg -- it's a metaphysical shop for pagan and magical stuff. They sell Sun's Eye essential oils, my second favorite brand next to Foxcraft. I bought oils of Pomegranate, Primrose, Lotus, and Magnolia (of course!). They all smell so sweet and so amazing. I'm going to try them all in a blend and see how it works on my skin.

Oh, it's too bad I can't use magnolias in my bouquet... they wither and die so quickly. But I do have the magnolia essential oil that I can wear as a perfume. It won't be the same, but it'll remind me of my favorite flower scent. Plus, magnolia seems to have real calming, soothing properties on the mind. I know they've been using essence of magnolia in a new non-prescription anti-depressant called Relora.

I also bought a Citrine stone. I'll need it. It's a powerful stone to dispel negative energy, relieve stress and anxiety, balance chakras, bring wealth, and heal the mind. I'm bidding on Ebay now for a couple of Citrine rings. I'll need to have Charlotte charge them and connect them to the white plane, through the white leyline -- the plane of serenity. She connected my rainbow moonstone ring, but I'll need the citrine more now.

It's too hot in here. Gods, it's boiling. But I feel better.