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Jan. 11th, 2006
The waiting game.
Jan. 11th, 2006 07:09 pmThe technician, Woody, was awesome. We both have a lot in common, including childhood in Brooklyn, cerebral palsy on one side, mismatched shoe sizes, and a dry sense of humor. Woody also specifically helps design and monitor scientific test studies on epilepsy drugs. He explained what "possible side effects" actually means, how they make sure a drug gets passed, etc. He conducts studies and projects on epilepsy and seizure disorders outside the doctor's office.
I found myself opening up as he stuck little elecrodes all over my scalp and wrapped it up. Standard tests and such, breathing, sleeping, blinking, the fucking strobe light. I hate strobe lights.
However, Woody did say one thing as he was taping stuff to me that really stuck out: "Two seizures constitute epilepsy. You've had many more than two -- yes, most of those auras were partial seizures."
"You're fucking kidding me," I said.
He wasn't.
"No, I don't have epilepsy."
He nodded. "You probably do, sweetheart, I'm sorry."
However, we honestly won't know anything until the next consultation. The doctor asked me to come back next week after he has had time to go over everything.
I hate the waiting game, I hate it.
So, you know what, I won't think about it until then. If I have it, I have it, and I will deal with it then. If I don't, I don't. Don't say anything yet about issues of epilepsy itself; I want to ponder for a while. I will post something next week.
I found myself opening up as he stuck little elecrodes all over my scalp and wrapped it up. Standard tests and such, breathing, sleeping, blinking, the fucking strobe light. I hate strobe lights.
However, Woody did say one thing as he was taping stuff to me that really stuck out: "Two seizures constitute epilepsy. You've had many more than two -- yes, most of those auras were partial seizures."
"You're fucking kidding me," I said.
He wasn't.
"No, I don't have epilepsy."
He nodded. "You probably do, sweetheart, I'm sorry."
However, we honestly won't know anything until the next consultation. The doctor asked me to come back next week after he has had time to go over everything.
I hate the waiting game, I hate it.
So, you know what, I won't think about it until then. If I have it, I have it, and I will deal with it then. If I don't, I don't. Don't say anything yet about issues of epilepsy itself; I want to ponder for a while. I will post something next week.