Mar. 2nd, 2006

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I got to sleep for nine glorious hours last night, thanks to having my follow-up neurologist appointment this morning. I woke up at eight, took my time getting dressed, nuzzled the kitty. I went downstairs to the living room at nine, ten minutes before I had to walk to the bus stop. At which point, Danny came downstairs. We decided it would be easier to have him drop me off at the Metro. I was able to catch the bus shortly after that, got to the building which houses both my doctor and my neurologist, and waited in the waiting room.
For some reason, I have noticed, this particular doctor always seems to have me waiting at least half an hour from the time of my appointment to the time he actually calls me in. The appointment was at 10:30. I got there with enough time to eat breakfast at the deli, and ride the elevator and pay my copay and sit comfortably and crack open a magazine. And I waited and waited, just like last time. I wanted to be at work by 1:30 and still have time for lunch. It was just after 11:00 when he called my name.
We sat down in his office and I showed him my detailed seizure diary chronicling the end of January until now. He was very pleased. We spoke a bit about exactly what my seizures feel like, the simple and the complex, and we talked about the drug. I told him that I liked the 150 mg twice a day, so I'd like to get a prescription for an even 300 mg, once a day, at night. He gave me a prescription plus sample bottles.
And that amuses me -- sample bottles. I have three little bottles. Each bottle contains six pills. This will last over two weeks. The last time, I had six bottles to last me a month. It was ridiculous, having all these bottles with so little amounts of pills. So I had just poured all the pills into one bottle. I'd still had room. This is what I am doing with these samples now.
Tonight, I take the last of the 150. Then, tomorrow night I start on the 300. I will fill the actual prescription either today or tomorrow.
Read more... )
And that is all there is.
This is my life now.
There we go.
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
Good friends are hard to find.
Especially friends who cherish the honesty of personal oddities, make you realize who you really are, and make you see that it's really okay.
So thank you, Lena and Charlotte, for last night's AIM chat. Love you both always!
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When I asked Marie at mv-skintherapy.com to add oils of rose and frankincense to all my future orders of the Serumdipity facial serum, I hadn't realized what a powerful blend I'd be getting. Essential oils of helichrysum and carrot seed blended with rose and frankincense seems to create a powerful aromatherapeutic effect very similar to Bach's Rescue Remedy liquid flower essence. How interesting! I am now very much at peace.

Essential oils and aromatherapy are as fascinating to me as any medicine.
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
The other night, I did something that I consider a minor breakthrough... considering that I have been berating myself over my body for longer than I admit to anyone, because I am still unused to the round parts, because I see bulked up muscle and filled out curves and think fat where of course there is no fat. Considering that I do mourn the 22-inch waistline when it has only increased by barely two inches. Considering that I do not know when I will ever be free of a psychological disease...
...I added two model poses to my userpics.
In one, I am in a bra and wrap skirt, standing against the wall that my husband painted a mural on. In the other, I am modeling for my mother's student, last November, and I am wearing a bikini bottom and sports bra. My head is down, and I am propping myself up on my arms to hold still for the ten-minute pose. At the time my husband snapped the shot, I had been wondering if my stomach was sticking out and if I was too curvy. I hated my body, I did, oh gods I hated it. There is another new userpic, the firestarter, taken while I had still been anorexic, and you can see the flat muscled abdomen and the thin legs and skinny arms, and yes I thought I had looked just fine. I put the firestarter pic in there to show the direct contrast. I still have yet to decide. I know I want to at least shape the muscle, not lose the weight, keep the curves but not the round. If that makes sense.
There was a huge frantic raving screaming rant in my head earlier today while I was shopping for snacks and chocolate. It is over now.
I'll get there. I'll get there.
But those two photos, in public, those are good steps.

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