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It took me this long?
Jun. 25th, 2006 03:07 pmI am a silly girl. I am also something of a lazy silly girl.
I love my new curves. Love them, love them. But... oh, toned muscle, where art thou? I used to have so much of that. Cerebral palsy, spastic hemiplegia, that automatically clenches and spasms and tones, oh, if you could feel the muscle in my left arm and leg, but smaller atrophied creatures they be, premature birth and everything. I don't want to lose weight again, I understand that I am skinny still just curvy-skinny now, and that's all right. They love the butt. I have had my rear smacked and stared at and tickled by all my friends. But I look in the mirror -- so where did my four-pack abs go? Oh, yes, the flesh above. Now that I gained the healthy weight and the healthy curves, I have neglected the strength training and the isometrics and the lifting and toning that will make the muscle beneath so sleek and strong. Triphala may detoxify and purify, but hell it will never give me that muscle. Acetyl-L-Carnitine can oxygenate the muscles and mitochondria and it can help achieve the muscle, but I need to move move move. I walk a lot. Well yes, I don't drive (phobia, hah). I climb four flights of internal office stairs at work every day. BDD tells me I have cellulite, spouse and sister-friends tell me I do not.
So? I must tone. If I want to cherish my body like the goddess I am supposed to be, I should remind myself that exercise will make me happy. Dopamine/endorphin rush indeed.
When I created womenofthemoon on LJ, the day I created it, I had eaten a plate of fruit and cheese, and I looked at the plate of fruit and cheese, and I thought, Goddesses should eat fruit and cheese when they feel down on themselves. It could be like nectar and ambrosia.
I love my new curves. Love them, love them. But... oh, toned muscle, where art thou? I used to have so much of that. Cerebral palsy, spastic hemiplegia, that automatically clenches and spasms and tones, oh, if you could feel the muscle in my left arm and leg, but smaller atrophied creatures they be, premature birth and everything. I don't want to lose weight again, I understand that I am skinny still just curvy-skinny now, and that's all right. They love the butt. I have had my rear smacked and stared at and tickled by all my friends. But I look in the mirror -- so where did my four-pack abs go? Oh, yes, the flesh above. Now that I gained the healthy weight and the healthy curves, I have neglected the strength training and the isometrics and the lifting and toning that will make the muscle beneath so sleek and strong. Triphala may detoxify and purify, but hell it will never give me that muscle. Acetyl-L-Carnitine can oxygenate the muscles and mitochondria and it can help achieve the muscle, but I need to move move move. I walk a lot. Well yes, I don't drive (phobia, hah). I climb four flights of internal office stairs at work every day. BDD tells me I have cellulite, spouse and sister-friends tell me I do not.
So? I must tone. If I want to cherish my body like the goddess I am supposed to be, I should remind myself that exercise will make me happy. Dopamine/endorphin rush indeed.
When I created womenofthemoon on LJ, the day I created it, I had eaten a plate of fruit and cheese, and I looked at the plate of fruit and cheese, and I thought, Goddesses should eat fruit and cheese when they feel down on themselves. It could be like nectar and ambrosia.
