Being Alice: Entry One

It has been shown than Lewis Carroll based "Alice Through The Looking Glass" and "Alice In Wonderland" on his seizure experiences -- he had temporal lobe epilepsy, you see.

This morning, just after Luna woke me up at six-thirty, shortly before my alarm, I fell down the rabbit hole. Again.

I'm Alice. Hi.

I called my boss. I barely remembered doing so. I collapsed back into bed, slept uneasily, but in between tiny wakings I slept like the dead and had the strangest dreams, none of which made any sense at all and did turn me into an Alice type for a while. My doctors have told me that when I have intense complex partial seizures, I need to stay where I am for a full day, unless someone is with me. Sleep, deep sleep, for three to eight hours is a given, I'll do that no matter what. I should expect extreme reality distortions, holes in my memory, emotional outbursts, gastrointestinal distress, physical hypersensitivity, vertigo, enhanced response to pain, light, noise.

It's reversed now. I'll be waiting home for Adam now.
It's okay, though. We'll be together.

I will write more about this when I am coherent.

http://contrariwise.wild-reality.net/carrollscreativity.html
"There is little doubt that the world inside Lewis Carroll's mind was a pretty amazing place. Many people believe he was a drug addict (though there is no evidence at all for this) because some of his images and ideas echo those produced under the influence of hallucinogens. It has been conjectured that he suffered from temporal lobe epilepsy, which can produce odd visions and states of mind, and he also had an interest in fits, seizures and other medical matters. We also know from a study of the books in his library that he was fascinated by different states of mind and consciousness: not to mention madness, dreams, fairies, ghosts, angels, legends, and 'alternative' religion of all kinds. The huge number of books he owned on these subjects show how much he dwelt on spiritual and non physical matters in so many different forms, some of them very unusual."

Oh gods that's better

After coming downstairs, I sat on the diagonally placed couch and wrapped myself in a quilt to wait for my husband. I watched "Little Miss Sunshine," but not intently. I was definitely feeling better, having taken care of myself. Around two, the front door opened. Adam walked into the living room with a look on his face that read happy shock, high hope, relief, and joy. I stood up, he put his bag down, he commented on the rearranging of the table, which I said I did. And then we were kissing. And kissing. And kissing. We held each other so tight like survivors, a bit of forever trapped in a moment. I was melting.
Somewhere, Luna meowed. And meowed again.
The kissing continued. He leaned me back a little, just over the table.
I felt the tap of a paw on my right shoulder, and Luna meowed again.
I opened my eyes and turned my head slightly. Luna's front paws were on my shoulder, and her head was stretching toward Daddy. She was standing on her hind legs on the table, stretched up as far as she could go. She meowed again.
Adam laughed, "Awww, you missed your Daddy!" and reached for her and held her. She licked his nose, mouth, chin, and cheek, and settled happily against his shoulder as he hugged her. She's so small, and he's so broad, he looked like a man holding a newborn baby.
I should mention something about Luna's distinct meow. It's not a "meow" sound. It's not even a "mrow" sound. It's a "mrah? myah? mah?" sound. She is a soprano; her voice is very soft and high and light, almost a chirp. She sings, really. And so hearing that cat-song touched with surprise and relief and gratefulness was wonderfully adorable.
Adam put her down and embraced me again, and I don't know how long we kissed before heading upstairs to the bedroom. We made love twice tangled in the blankets, and then we went back downstairs. Adam stretched and cracked my back and helped the lingering postictal sensations disappear.
I am happy now.