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I am too exhausted and in too much crushing pain to feel this upset/anxious over absolutely nothing.
Also, I think I have not let go of my old company dissolving so utterly. I have nightmares about not being good enough for this current job and not being good enough for anything anymore. Being in daily pain, consistent fog, is not helping.
Enough of this. I am tired of anxiety. Enough. No wallowing.
I may need to start keeping a daily food log of some sort. I don't think I've been eating enough to satisfy at least a 1200 calorie daily requirement. I have not lost much weight, but I have also not been eating much.
I spent half an hour with a pill splitter and 120 triphala tablets*, and my hands ache. The smallest things make my hands ache.
The limping has gotten worse. The tucking of my left arm into my side has become so common that I do not even know when I do it. I am not depressed, only tired. Tired.
My mother called earlier just to say that she and my father had watched the movie Twilight on DVD, rented from the library. She was unimpressed and understood why I don't like the book. "If I were a fourteen-year-old girl, however," she said, "I'd probably eat this up with a sugar-coated spoon."
My vitamins came in the mail today, the ones I'd run out of" Biotin, Resveratrol, Alpha Lipoic Acid, Sea Buckthorn Oil. It makes me happy.
This also made me cheer: http://naamah-darling.livejournal.com/397912.html (Why bullying should not and can not be "accepted" in any culture, ever)
*Smaller dosages of triphala don't cause loose stool for me, so I could take half a tablet every day and still get all the purifying, detoxifying, toning, balancing, anti-inflammatory, antioxidant benefits, just over a longer period of time.
Also, I think I have not let go of my old company dissolving so utterly. I have nightmares about not being good enough for this current job and not being good enough for anything anymore. Being in daily pain, consistent fog, is not helping.
Enough of this. I am tired of anxiety. Enough. No wallowing.
I may need to start keeping a daily food log of some sort. I don't think I've been eating enough to satisfy at least a 1200 calorie daily requirement. I have not lost much weight, but I have also not been eating much.
I spent half an hour with a pill splitter and 120 triphala tablets*, and my hands ache. The smallest things make my hands ache.
The limping has gotten worse. The tucking of my left arm into my side has become so common that I do not even know when I do it. I am not depressed, only tired. Tired.
My mother called earlier just to say that she and my father had watched the movie Twilight on DVD, rented from the library. She was unimpressed and understood why I don't like the book. "If I were a fourteen-year-old girl, however," she said, "I'd probably eat this up with a sugar-coated spoon."
My vitamins came in the mail today, the ones I'd run out of" Biotin, Resveratrol, Alpha Lipoic Acid, Sea Buckthorn Oil. It makes me happy.
This also made me cheer: http://naamah-darling.livejournal.com/397912.html (Why bullying should not and can not be "accepted" in any culture, ever)
*Smaller dosages of triphala don't cause loose stool for me, so I could take half a tablet every day and still get all the purifying, detoxifying, toning, balancing, anti-inflammatory, antioxidant benefits, just over a longer period of time.
