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Feb. 11th, 2010
I slept fantastically well despite everything. I impressed myself.
I went out and shoveled again; the snow was still nearly up to my ankles. The gate door can't be opened completely, but I've been trying. Someone was very nice and very busy earlier; the sidewalk was completely shoveled, the parking lot was fairly well-plowed, and many cars had been dug out, including Adam's.
Despite drinking two cups of coffee and an entire bottle of Upshot, I am still horrendously fatigued and achy.
I've made my decision, regarding last night's... thing. He was right, in a lot of ways, although in many other ways he was fantastically wrong. We may never agree on some points. But that is okay. I am just changing my perspective. I've already come to terms with several things. It doesn't really matter anymore. I'm still me. I'll always be me. It's all good.
Adam comes home later today. The roads should be relatively clear by then.
I am going to take something to help me feel less melancholy and listless. Rhodiola and DLPA usually work the best. I need to find my strength again so I can continue shoveling my walkway.
I burned my arm earlier, turning off the heat lamp in the bathroom. One more pretty scar.
I went out and shoveled again; the snow was still nearly up to my ankles. The gate door can't be opened completely, but I've been trying. Someone was very nice and very busy earlier; the sidewalk was completely shoveled, the parking lot was fairly well-plowed, and many cars had been dug out, including Adam's.
Despite drinking two cups of coffee and an entire bottle of Upshot, I am still horrendously fatigued and achy.
I've made my decision, regarding last night's... thing. He was right, in a lot of ways, although in many other ways he was fantastically wrong. We may never agree on some points. But that is okay. I am just changing my perspective. I've already come to terms with several things. It doesn't really matter anymore. I'm still me. I'll always be me. It's all good.
Adam comes home later today. The roads should be relatively clear by then.
I am going to take something to help me feel less melancholy and listless. Rhodiola and DLPA usually work the best. I need to find my strength again so I can continue shoveling my walkway.
I burned my arm earlier, turning off the heat lamp in the bathroom. One more pretty scar.
And while I am trying to reevaluate that part of my life, I have been feeling like I've been struck with sledgehammers all over, over and over. Fantastic.
But I don't give up. I forget who actually accused me of giving up, but... I don't give up.
My body angers me often. I hurt, but that's life. I try to be meditative.
I still plan on working with this part of life, around it all. Don't know what to think anymore or how to feel, but I have time.
But I don't give up. I forget who actually accused me of giving up, but... I don't give up.
My body angers me often. I hurt, but that's life. I try to be meditative.
I still plan on working with this part of life, around it all. Don't know what to think anymore or how to feel, but I have time.
