Thursday Random

Not to sound ridiculously excited, but... Futurama comes back tonight! Comedy Central! WOO-HOO!

I am one of those incredibly pale people who burns and then tans, and when I tan, I tan golden. It's weird. It's Sicily mixing with Romania and Russia and Hungary. My father tans bronze, my mother burns. I do both. Oh, genetics. I would rather be pale and fair all the time. But the occasional tan is okay. Sun protection is vital. I don't like being tan, but there are days when I'm out in the sun, and oops, I get tan. I'd rather be out in the sunshine with sunscreen and a hat, though. Sunshine is awesome.

Luna has been purring at me for days. Every single time we come near each other, she starts purring. I think it is to relax me. Am I that stressed? Probably. Also, seizure yesterday.

Watching The Cooking Channel right now. Not the Food Network. The Cooking Channel. Right now it is featuring Exotic Eats and Food Jammers. It is mouthwatering. I want to feel hungry.

Sunshine on my shoulder

Made eggs in a basket. Was delicious but filling. I feel heavy.

(I won't say "I feel fat" because I don't. I wish "fat" wasn't seen as a "bad word." But being anorexic for several years, recovering for several more years, and being constantly confused about my own body image has made me realize that there are some thoughts that hurt me, and by thinking them I hurt myself, and until the word "fat" stops being such a "bad word" I'd... I'd rather not. I almost got myself killed because I stopped eating and got too thin. I'm still confused.)

Going out for a walk to get some sunshine and to feel better. Sunshine always makes me feel better. With protection, of course. All my skin care is meant to prevent and heal. I still look like a teenager. Good sun protection helps. Wear sunscreen and try to stay out of direct sunlight as much as possible, kids. Etcetera. I don't even know why I'm talking about this. I shouldn't be telling anybody what to do with their lives unless they ask my advice. I think I get too defensive when someone tells me what I should be doing, so I feel like a hypocrite.

More weight-lifting later, after I've digested.

Okay, so I am still being affected by the post-seizure brain issues. I can feel it. I'm babbling. Walking away now.

Also, links to thoughtful stuff:
http://amberite.livejournal.com/601497.html
http://heavenscalyx.livejournal.com/1708315.html

I hurt my own head sometimes

I am currently trying to not scream and sob over this migraine, because I like to pretend I'm tough.

I'm going to stop writing until I feel better.

I am writing an antagonist whose brain sickness I still cannot pin down. Sometimes he seems sociopathic, but he can love and feel easily. Sometimes he seems completely schizophrenic, sometimes not. No, wait, I think he is schizophrenic. That seems to be how I've been writing him from the beginning. Schizophrenic, obsessive, manic, manipulative, psychotic, possibly narcissistic, has grandiose delusions. Also very psychic with the power to manipulate reality and even rip the fabric of reality to pieces. Which is a plot point. I love him very much but he scares me because he came out of my head. Also my protagonists sometimes scare me because they could destroy the world too, they just don't want to. I haven't decided if that's a good thing. And all these people came out of my head. I think I have a weird head.

I think it is good to have scary protagonists. I like being able to imagine what would happen if the good guys became sinister. What bothers me is when the author starts writing the good guy as a bad guy while insisting that the good guy turned bad guy is still a good guy. (Anita Blake is a great example. A sociopathic, misogynistic, sadomasochistic rape apologist who keeps getting darker would make an amazing villain but is a terrible hero. Hamilton needs to turn the character into a villain, and then maybe I'll start reading again. I certainly don't read that series for the bad porn.)

The rain needs to fall again. It is also hurting my head.

I love you... analgesic muscle relaxants.

After reading through my current Friends page, I have realized that almost every LJ friend I have has been having a Bad Day or Bad Week in some form or another. I want to give everyone hugs, because while hugs can't cure anything, they sure can help people feel better.

So, um.

HUGS FOR MY FRIENDS. A LOT.

I love you all.

You are all awesome.

Also, the new Futurama is happening on Comedy Central tonight. Go watch it.