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Wakeful Dreaming
Jun. 7th, 2011 08:30 pmSome of the weirdest side effects of the Zoloft: excess yawning, quiet mind, and most of the muscles on my left side loosening up just a bit. I have spastic and ataxic hemiplegic cerebral palsy. Sooo.... yes. Weird. I keep wondering what the fuck is happening to my left arm and left leg and the left side of my face. As far as the off-label use for fibromyalgia, I think there is something happening. My pain levels have dropped just a little bit so far. The quiet mind thing reminds me of when I was taking Savella for the ADD. I find myself no longer feeling obsessive or compulsive.
Certain websites I used to shop at over and over no longer seem immediately appealing. I no longer worry that certain products will vanish or that I must stock up in case they do vanish. I calmly tell myself that they will be around later, months or years later, and if they aren't similar things will come along. Getting custom-made creams from two Etsy shop owners has helped so much. No more frantic searching for just the right products with just the right blend of ingredients...
I just feel calm, content, relaxed, loose, mellow, satisfied. I think back to people warning me about the horrid hideous negative effects of antidepressants. I understand that antidepressants can be horrid and hideous, but that they also help save lives.
I keep thinking that this can't be right, that the drug shouldn't be working this early. It's only been five days, five pills. But it happens with every drug I've taken.
Last night, after that second seizure, I had an anxiety attack and took Klonopin and felt better. Just... I felt better about so many things I couldn't even name. In times like that I would be panicking about the future, about specifics, about anything. That didn't happen. The anxiety rose over me, crashed down, and passed from a wave to a ripple, and then I just felt tired and relaxed. So far, so far.
I still don't know if being on an SSRI long term is the best thing, but I will keep going until something inside me tells me to taper down and gradually stop. I just wish I had not been listening to the negativity all those years ago. I could have helped myself sooner.
Certain websites I used to shop at over and over no longer seem immediately appealing. I no longer worry that certain products will vanish or that I must stock up in case they do vanish. I calmly tell myself that they will be around later, months or years later, and if they aren't similar things will come along. Getting custom-made creams from two Etsy shop owners has helped so much. No more frantic searching for just the right products with just the right blend of ingredients...
I just feel calm, content, relaxed, loose, mellow, satisfied. I think back to people warning me about the horrid hideous negative effects of antidepressants. I understand that antidepressants can be horrid and hideous, but that they also help save lives.
I keep thinking that this can't be right, that the drug shouldn't be working this early. It's only been five days, five pills. But it happens with every drug I've taken.
Last night, after that second seizure, I had an anxiety attack and took Klonopin and felt better. Just... I felt better about so many things I couldn't even name. In times like that I would be panicking about the future, about specifics, about anything. That didn't happen. The anxiety rose over me, crashed down, and passed from a wave to a ripple, and then I just felt tired and relaxed. So far, so far.
I still don't know if being on an SSRI long term is the best thing, but I will keep going until something inside me tells me to taper down and gradually stop. I just wish I had not been listening to the negativity all those years ago. I could have helped myself sooner.
