VNV Nation Beloved, backed by orchestra.

Crying. Sobbing. Full force. Oh gods. I love this, I love this, I love this. I love this.
If Ronan does "Illusion" or "Standing" like this I will be destroyed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4TKup2Uifo

Illusion:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGuGiezVzXE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5WWLwcw5YKY

Standing:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGuGiezVzXE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTNqgKvkOmo

Beloved:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MuRnm3_ZkbA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCUepJnw5xQ

Relaxed and loose, at last

Makes me happy: Soma working. Hair being brushed with a combination boar plastic ceramic brush. Really amazing lip balms and lip colors. Love from cats. Love from husband, oh love.
Makes me sad: Itching. The horrible itching. Dear antihistamines and clay and mud: Work faster. Also: Joint and muscle stiffness. Bah. No love for that.

Oh gods therapy was amazing. Mercedes, the other therapist, showed me gentle stretches that will eventually help work with nerve and muscle function in my hips and lower back, so my hips will become more aligned, and the idea seems weird now but it gives me hope. My pain is up and down, fire-breathing and ice-stabbing, but I am handling it

I am so tired, I have been so tired all day. Maybe tomorrow I will be not so tired. At some point I must stop worrying and being nervous and just shrug it all off and remember that Things Happen. Sometimes I fuck things up, sometimes things fuck me up. Such is life.