Rrrgh.

So, this entire week was spent in a hideous, horrid, horrific, vicious fog of pain and histamines and fatigue and weakness and etc. But right now it is slightly better. I finally managed to get some headway on the Amber/Clara story that will turn into a novel. I got officially rejected by TOR themselves. Hee. I've sent the main novel to other editors in the meantime. I will be changing the title, since Adam informed me that a new video game has that title. /shrug.

It's those things you don't ever give up on, no matter how much you want to, until you breathe and meditate and take Klonopin.

Lammas was lovely, and now it is raining once again. August is going to be weird.

Being Alice: So much light.

I cannot... form thoughts. But I must write it. It must be recorded.
Three minutes. Gone down the rabbit hole and looking glass for three minutes.
Left arm is almost completely hemiplegic. Sensation, barely movement. Nerves are ghosts. Like fire.
Alicia. Alicia was there of course. Bursts of light behind her. She held me tightly. She wore gemstones around her neck, wrists, fingers. She called out incantations.
I disappeared. I heard Serena call my name. It was too bright to see. I was carried like a sleeping child passed from one caretaker to another.
I sobbed. I could barely speak. I said, "My skin hurts."
Serena and Amber murmured soothing words and stroked my hair, my head, my arms, and Amara held my head, fingers becoming transparent and moving past my skin, into my brain. It felt like a soft gentle massage.
I am typing with two fingers, correcting as I go; that is how I always did it, how I must do it.
So much energy. So much light. My head is full of light. Amara is with me now, holding me gently.
I am fine. For now.