Pain Clarification
Sep. 12th, 2009 04:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
brightlotusmoonDisclaimer: This is not directed at anyone who reads this journal.
My main pain reliever for fibromyalgia and cerebral palsy is Soma (generic name Carisoprodol). There have been accusations that Soma makes me high, as in drug high, as in OMG illegal street drug high. No. This is not true. I may say, "Oh, hey, Soma kind of makes me feel like I'm high!" but the truth is that the reactions I have to the drug are not the reactions of someone on a street drug. Carisoprodol is an analgesic muscle relaxant that centrally acts on the musculoskeletal system. In a nutshell, it relieves pain and loosens tight muscles. (Yes, there is a potential for abuse. I am completely aware of this.)
When I take a 350 mg pill of Soma, this is what happens: The muscles afflicted by cerebral palsy begin to do something that they are literally unable to do on their own: Relax and loosen. Completely. This is such an alien feeling that sometimes all I can to is sit frozen in shock, following the sensation as it floods my body from head to toe. I call it air conditioning under my skin because that is the only comparison I can usually think of. Or rather... imagine how sore and tense and spastic and clenched a muscle group can get due to overuse and soreness, and the imagine it suddenly, violently loosening, almost a mico-explosion of relaxation. It makes you want to break down crying, doesn't it? It just feels so fucking good, doesn't it? No pain makes you feel ecstatic! All you want to do is lay there for a few minutes, maybe hugging a pillow as your senses implode. Sometimes I cry for hours, because I cannot describe what is happening to me, this wonderful thing that will fade in a few hours, this total lack of pain, this total lack of hypertonia!
This is not me being high. My body, which is in constant pain, will eat up the medication to try and bring me to normal. But my version is normal is permanent hypertonia and pain. So, what sort of normal does this medication get me to? It gets me to everyone else's normal. By everyone else, I mean people who don't have hypertonia or similar muscle issues, of course. And everyone else's normal is my high. I don't know what that feels like without a proper muscle relaxant.
Do you get it now? Low, normal, high. Basic stages.
So, quit insisting that this medication makes me a junkie, fuckheads. Better yet, please spend a week in my body, in my brain. Then tell me what it's like. Bet that would shut you up real quick.
I had more to say, but it has fallen apart. Those who know exactly what I mean are more than welcome to add things.
My main pain reliever for fibromyalgia and cerebral palsy is Soma (generic name Carisoprodol). There have been accusations that Soma makes me high, as in drug high, as in OMG illegal street drug high. No. This is not true. I may say, "Oh, hey, Soma kind of makes me feel like I'm high!" but the truth is that the reactions I have to the drug are not the reactions of someone on a street drug. Carisoprodol is an analgesic muscle relaxant that centrally acts on the musculoskeletal system. In a nutshell, it relieves pain and loosens tight muscles. (Yes, there is a potential for abuse. I am completely aware of this.)
When I take a 350 mg pill of Soma, this is what happens: The muscles afflicted by cerebral palsy begin to do something that they are literally unable to do on their own: Relax and loosen. Completely. This is such an alien feeling that sometimes all I can to is sit frozen in shock, following the sensation as it floods my body from head to toe. I call it air conditioning under my skin because that is the only comparison I can usually think of. Or rather... imagine how sore and tense and spastic and clenched a muscle group can get due to overuse and soreness, and the imagine it suddenly, violently loosening, almost a mico-explosion of relaxation. It makes you want to break down crying, doesn't it? It just feels so fucking good, doesn't it? No pain makes you feel ecstatic! All you want to do is lay there for a few minutes, maybe hugging a pillow as your senses implode. Sometimes I cry for hours, because I cannot describe what is happening to me, this wonderful thing that will fade in a few hours, this total lack of pain, this total lack of hypertonia!
This is not me being high. My body, which is in constant pain, will eat up the medication to try and bring me to normal. But my version is normal is permanent hypertonia and pain. So, what sort of normal does this medication get me to? It gets me to everyone else's normal. By everyone else, I mean people who don't have hypertonia or similar muscle issues, of course. And everyone else's normal is my high. I don't know what that feels like without a proper muscle relaxant.
Do you get it now? Low, normal, high. Basic stages.
So, quit insisting that this medication makes me a junkie, fuckheads. Better yet, please spend a week in my body, in my brain. Then tell me what it's like. Bet that would shut you up real quick.
I had more to say, but it has fallen apart. Those who know exactly what I mean are more than welcome to add things.
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no subject
Date: 2009-09-12 08:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-12 08:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-12 08:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-13 02:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-13 06:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-12 08:34 pm (UTC)Sure, I like how Soma makes me feel, but that's because it, oh, I dunno, makes my pain go away? Really people! I'm not in it to get fucked up! I take it so I can clean my house and take a walk and dance without sobbing in pain later!
*laughs*
no subject
Date: 2009-09-13 02:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-13 06:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-12 08:31 pm (UTC)The compound pharmacist I saw to get my testosterone was really anti-all my medications (mostly psychiatric medications). He even told my mother (though I'm 26 years old) that "they" need to get me off these medications. Never mind that I get suicidal and very manic if I stop taking my medication... My psychiatrist had to call the pharmacist and explain the situation to him. I don't get highs from my medication either, I just feel much more sane.
no subject
Date: 2009-09-12 08:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-24 03:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-24 04:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-12 09:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-12 10:10 pm (UTC)I am happy to hear when a drug I take doesn't work for someone else, because it shows how people are so different.
no subject
Date: 2009-09-13 03:07 am (UTC)So when were you diagnosed with fibromyalgia? Did you have it for a long time, unknowingly, or did it sneak up on you?
no subject
Date: 2009-09-13 06:07 pm (UTC)Soma doesn't do much for my husband, either. His doctor had put him on Soma in 2008 for back pain, and it barely touched the pain. But I tried it, and holy yay did it help.
Ignore them
Date: 2009-09-12 10:14 pm (UTC)Re: Ignore them
Date: 2009-09-12 10:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-12 10:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-12 10:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-12 10:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-12 11:39 pm (UTC)Puts you in the mood for some stranglin', doesn't it?
no subject
Date: 2009-09-12 11:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-13 12:06 am (UTC)I certainly understand her mindset, as throttle-inducing as it is. A dear friend of mine lost her mother a while back due to pharmaceutical abuse, too. She was really worried for a while about all prescriptions, but not to the "all pharmaceuticals are evil" point. It seems to affect everyone differently.
no subject
Date: 2009-09-12 10:40 pm (UTC)Now, if I were the judging type, I would go, "Oh, Soma MUST get you high," but I have a brain and therefore know that side effects affect people differently, and it is possible that it made me high as a kite and in migraine hell without doing those same things to you.
no subject
Date: 2009-09-12 11:42 pm (UTC)What sort of high did you get, what sensations? I'm curious. At the beginning, my own body's reaction to Soma made me so deliriously ecstatic I really thought I was high, before I realized that, no, I was feeling normal and just really really happy about it.
no subject
Date: 2009-09-12 11:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-13 12:02 am (UTC)(I feel like my reaction is slightly uncommon or unusal.)
Sorry if I've ranted this rant before...
Date: 2009-09-12 11:15 pm (UTC)My mother had something similar happen to her from a friggin' pharmacy technician. My mother has severe degenerative spinal arthritis, fibromayalgia, and epilepsy with grand mals so severe that she damages her spine more with each one. She is on high dosages of vicodin and methadone to survive the pain, actually being functional is another matter entirely.
She was at the pharmacy getting a refill, and the technician kept shooting her scornful glances and saying "METHADONE" really loudly, i.e., "Here is your METHADONE Mrs. S*****". Now, for those not in the know, methadone is usually used to treat recovering heroin addicts, and it's the kind of shit that people will kill to get. If the wrong person had overheard that little exchange, my mom could have been fucking stabbed in the parking lot.
The good part of this story is that the next time I went to pick up her medication, the same woman brought it to me, and I very calmly, very quietly
growled outsaid "My mother is not a drug addict, she has degenerative spinal arthritis. She is on this because her spine is crumbling" (I managed not to tell her to go vacation in a burning building). I don't know whether it was shame at her own actions or fear of the six feet of angry, leather-clad goth staring her down, but she lowered her head and didn't raise it through the rest of the transaction.Then I spoke with the (very nice) manager of the pharmacy and explained that I felt her actions were not only judgmental but had endangered my mother's life. She was promptly fired, and the staff there has been nothing but friendly since.
Also, for the longest time I assumed that Soma was an herbal supplement you were taking right along with the acai berries and lotus extract. XD
Re: Sorry if I've ranted this rant before...
Date: 2009-09-12 11:47 pm (UTC)The lady was fired, oh wow. Good on the manager!
Soma, the elixir, actually is an herbal supplement! It even has blue lotus in it! Carisoprodol was sort of named after it. *grin*
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soma
http://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/entry/Soma
Re: Sorry if I've ranted this rant before...
Date: 2009-09-13 02:35 am (UTC)But yeah, the people that think that management of chronic pain makes you a drug seeker can just drink dishwater and die. They're in the same camp with the people who think fibromyalgia is fake, or that clinical depression is cured by moonbeams and fairy farts.
*gentle hugs*
Re: Sorry if I've ranted this rant before...
Date: 2009-09-13 05:59 pm (UTC)Re: Sorry if I've ranted this rant before...
Date: 2009-09-14 04:06 am (UTC)Re: Sorry if I've ranted this rant before...
Date: 2009-09-14 11:37 am (UTC)But I'm much better now. Those unicorn horns, man, they are fantastic.
Re: Sorry if I've ranted this rant before...
Date: 2009-09-14 12:51 pm (UTC)Okay, seriousness done for now. SPARKLEY UNICORNS!!!!!!
Re: Sorry if I've ranted this rant before...
Date: 2009-09-14 01:04 pm (UTC)Re: Sorry if I've ranted this rant before...
Date: 2009-09-13 02:18 am (UTC)Luckily, the girl that replaced her is a total sweetheart.
Re: Sorry if I've ranted this rant before...
Date: 2009-09-13 05:56 pm (UTC)Re: Sorry if I've ranted this rant before...
Date: 2009-09-13 02:59 am (UTC)I've always counted myself lucky that I have a very understanding pharmacist, especially when I picked up a new script for Savella (which didn't work). All she said was "you have fibromyalgia? I'm so sorry and I hope this helps."
Re: Sorry if I've ranted this rant before...
Date: 2009-09-13 06:02 pm (UTC)Re: Sorry if I've ranted this rant before...
Date: 2009-09-13 03:10 am (UTC)Sending hug-vibes to your mama!
people suck all too often
Date: 2009-09-13 05:58 am (UTC)but these days i simply take what i'm supposed to and slowly try to adapt to new meds and side effects (go go nsaid allergies and heparin contra-indications) - i still don't like the side effects of darvon or codeine (night sweats, strange dreams), and i only take the ketamine when i absolutely cannot sleep because i hurt so bad after my daily pain meds and muscle relaxers (it makes me hallucinate and gives me horrifying dreams, but at least i can sleep)
and i know people who would happily take my meds, cut them up into lines and snort them for fun - luckily most people seem to understand
someone above commented on ultram - that one's been prescribed and relegated to the no way, no how bin - it actually gives me migrains every fucking time i've tried it (which i've done on several occasions as my docs say it should help) - and i don't usually get migraines
and i'm going to ask my doctor about soma next appointment - if i'm understanding what i'm reading it may allow me to reduce my doses of painkillers more than flexoril
Re: people suck all too often
Date: 2009-09-13 06:09 pm (UTC)I was taking Flexeril for quite some time before I found Soma, and I decided that the Soma worked better. But it's nice to have Flexeril on my medical record so I can ask for a prescription in the future.
no subject
Date: 2009-09-13 09:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-24 03:12 am (UTC)