Willow Tree
Dec. 23rd, 2009 10:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
brightlotusmoonThe migraine that began happening an hour ago has retreated somewhat, wounded, and will most likely attempt to sneak back into my fortress after I have slept and woken. That happens. It is life.
I cannot win, most days. But I try. Oh, yes. I keep wanting to curl up and sob and scream (with my fist lodged in my mouth, because my mouth is warm and my fingers are frozen from a flare-up of Raynaud's, after all). I want to lay down and forget and let the agony take me out to sea. But I remind myself that I can only do that for so long before the rest of me demands more troops, more fighting, more battle cries and shining steel and willow trees (bend, not break). So it goes.
Many people do not believe in aromatherapy, or herbal therapy, or massage therapy, or pressure point therapy, or in anything that does not involve FDA approval, prescriptions, and physician referrals. I do. I believe hard. Perhaps that is why they all work well on me. Or perhaps they really truly do things for some people, damn all the studies that claim to prove otherwise. I do not know. But every time I inhale my essential oil blend (rose, neroli, lotus, frankincense, helichrysum, chamomile), every time I massage that oil into my scalp and face and hands and feet and pressure points, I feel something. I do not care what they say. It keeps me sane, I suppose.
I will go to bed and hope to dream well. I will be a willow tree and just keep going.
I wish I had more to say here. There is so much more I want to say and too much pain to fight through. But the pain will end soon. It always does, before it returns.
I cannot win, most days. But I try. Oh, yes. I keep wanting to curl up and sob and scream (with my fist lodged in my mouth, because my mouth is warm and my fingers are frozen from a flare-up of Raynaud's, after all). I want to lay down and forget and let the agony take me out to sea. But I remind myself that I can only do that for so long before the rest of me demands more troops, more fighting, more battle cries and shining steel and willow trees (bend, not break). So it goes.
Many people do not believe in aromatherapy, or herbal therapy, or massage therapy, or pressure point therapy, or in anything that does not involve FDA approval, prescriptions, and physician referrals. I do. I believe hard. Perhaps that is why they all work well on me. Or perhaps they really truly do things for some people, damn all the studies that claim to prove otherwise. I do not know. But every time I inhale my essential oil blend (rose, neroli, lotus, frankincense, helichrysum, chamomile), every time I massage that oil into my scalp and face and hands and feet and pressure points, I feel something. I do not care what they say. It keeps me sane, I suppose.
I will go to bed and hope to dream well. I will be a willow tree and just keep going.
I wish I had more to say here. There is so much more I want to say and too much pain to fight through. But the pain will end soon. It always does, before it returns.
