Still Raining.
Apr. 26th, 2010 01:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
brightlotusmoonYay, feeling like shit! Best way to start a Monday.
There was a dream last night that was bizarre enough to stick in my memory long enough for me to write it down:
I was a guest at an opulent mansion owned by a Spanish man who turned out to be a serial rapist. The scene very quickly went from me stumbling into a torture session to me stumbling out of the mansion and into the night in a torn red dress with tears and mascara running down my face, with my entire body feeling bruised and beaten. The man was suddenly at my side, lifting me into a cream-colored Lexus Hybrid and whispering things to me. He handed me a huge shopping bag full of new clothes, said he was "very sorry for what happened" and told me to drive away and never come back. In real life, I don't have a driver's license and have a phobia about driving. In the dream, I got behind the wheel and began to drive, barely aware of myself. It was pure instinct. In real life, I do technically know how to drive, since I took lessons and remember those lessons well enough. My mind remembered. But I was completely detached. There was suddenly a golden Labrador Retriever in the car with me. Her name was Molly. I realized she had been with me the entire time.
And then, as I turned onto a busy, snow-covered highway, my husband was in the passenger seat, telling me it was all going to be all right. He put his hand over my right hand, which was gripping the steering wheel too tightly. He kissed my cheek and leaned into me for a long time, murmuring things to comfort me. I asked him if we could trade seats, because I was weaving around Mack trucks and changing lanes with no clue how and I was terrified. He said that Molly needed food and a bathroom break anyway. I pulled into the parking lot of a shopping center. We went into an organic supermarket with Molly after letting her go by a tree. The staff gave Molly some water and a bite of kibble, and we bought groceries, including canned dog food and dry dog food.
I had at some point changed into one of the outfits from the shopping bag. Everything -- the silk t-shirt, the dark blue jeans, the low-heeled mid-calf boots, even the silk underwear -- was designer, but I didn't know the brands. I had also washed up and applied new makeup, leaving out the mascara.
We went back out and put everything in the trunk. Adam turned to me and pulled me close and I began to cry. He whispered, "If I see that man again, I will kill him. I'm so sorry I wasn't there in time. I love you. You're everything to me. Don't worry, everything will be all right."
Adam and I continued driving with him at the wheel. Once we reached a woody area with a large cabin, Adam helped me into the cabin, carrying several bags, backpacks, and duffel bags. Apparently we were going to stay there for a while. As the door closed behind us and Adam turned on the main light, I woke up.
Currently, I'm reading both Brom's The Child Thief and Jim Butcher's Changes and also writing the next chapter in my own book, and trying to feel better.
There was a dream last night that was bizarre enough to stick in my memory long enough for me to write it down:
I was a guest at an opulent mansion owned by a Spanish man who turned out to be a serial rapist. The scene very quickly went from me stumbling into a torture session to me stumbling out of the mansion and into the night in a torn red dress with tears and mascara running down my face, with my entire body feeling bruised and beaten. The man was suddenly at my side, lifting me into a cream-colored Lexus Hybrid and whispering things to me. He handed me a huge shopping bag full of new clothes, said he was "very sorry for what happened" and told me to drive away and never come back. In real life, I don't have a driver's license and have a phobia about driving. In the dream, I got behind the wheel and began to drive, barely aware of myself. It was pure instinct. In real life, I do technically know how to drive, since I took lessons and remember those lessons well enough. My mind remembered. But I was completely detached. There was suddenly a golden Labrador Retriever in the car with me. Her name was Molly. I realized she had been with me the entire time.
And then, as I turned onto a busy, snow-covered highway, my husband was in the passenger seat, telling me it was all going to be all right. He put his hand over my right hand, which was gripping the steering wheel too tightly. He kissed my cheek and leaned into me for a long time, murmuring things to comfort me. I asked him if we could trade seats, because I was weaving around Mack trucks and changing lanes with no clue how and I was terrified. He said that Molly needed food and a bathroom break anyway. I pulled into the parking lot of a shopping center. We went into an organic supermarket with Molly after letting her go by a tree. The staff gave Molly some water and a bite of kibble, and we bought groceries, including canned dog food and dry dog food.
I had at some point changed into one of the outfits from the shopping bag. Everything -- the silk t-shirt, the dark blue jeans, the low-heeled mid-calf boots, even the silk underwear -- was designer, but I didn't know the brands. I had also washed up and applied new makeup, leaving out the mascara.
We went back out and put everything in the trunk. Adam turned to me and pulled me close and I began to cry. He whispered, "If I see that man again, I will kill him. I'm so sorry I wasn't there in time. I love you. You're everything to me. Don't worry, everything will be all right."
Adam and I continued driving with him at the wheel. Once we reached a woody area with a large cabin, Adam helped me into the cabin, carrying several bags, backpacks, and duffel bags. Apparently we were going to stay there for a while. As the door closed behind us and Adam turned on the main light, I woke up.
Currently, I'm reading both Brom's The Child Thief and Jim Butcher's Changes and also writing the next chapter in my own book, and trying to feel better.
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no subject
Date: 2010-04-26 06:42 pm (UTC)*hugs* Don't you love that our brains do this to us at night, too? Like real life isn't enough. Blah.
no subject
Date: 2010-04-26 06:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-26 07:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-26 07:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-26 07:16 pm (UTC)And I feel... okay. Toby is working from home this afternoon, so I'm not alone, but my neck and head are still really bothering me, and my leg is still pretty numb. I can feel parts of the bottom of my foot, as well as my hip and slightly under my knee, but I still can't walk very well. Paralysis is - well, obviously, frustrating. So I'm trying to distract myself by paying bills and such, but it's hard to do.
Sorry you are having a crap day, too. We need better than this, seriously. *hugs*
no subject
Date: 2010-04-26 07:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-26 07:21 pm (UTC)And I actually understand the numbness. On Facebook, I mentioned how my left leg will often just crap out and I have to drag myself up and down stairs. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that your entire leg gets feeling back soon.