Bad Nerves, No Doughnuts.

[brightlotusmoon]

My nervous system is determined to be difficult today. Sensory processing disorder has me itching and twitching and fidgeting and wanting to not be in my body for a while. Synesthesia is acting up a little and I keep mixing up sounds and sensations and tastes, colors flashing in the back of my brain. My skin is humming and crawling and I want to shout and smother things. Tactile allodynia is acting up and my jeans feel like needles and the breeze from the fan feels too sharp.
Ah, well. It will calm down soon. Always does.
My hair feels like silk right now, so running my fingers through it is soothing.

Comments

[tokio.livejournal.com]

My synesthesia was really pissing me off last night.

Adam and I were playing the color game where we "send" each other a color and the other person tries to receive it. We keep going until we get it wrong. The way I receive the color is by visualizing a white square, like a canvas, between me and Adam. When he says, "GO!" and sends the color, it usually appears on my square. I was on a winning streak until I started to lose focus -- the color he sent me was orange but I kept seeing pink because I suddenly smelled our dish soap which SMELLS like orange but has more of a red/pink tint than an orange tint. I couldn't regain my focus.

This always seems to happen when I wind up feeling a little anxious. The first time I discovered my synesthesia was while working at CSD Relay. I was listening to a woman's voice and typing her words. Her accent and tone were putting me on edge and all I could see was an ugly, washed out green-blue. I started reading my book "The Road," and I read the word "just" and tasted mint.

So it happens very rarely. I have to be in a frustrated/annoyed/irritable frame of mind where things bother me easily and my mind is feeling overloaded. This is some of that BPD behavior I'm trying to unlearn -- sometimes my anxiousness caps and I spill over. That's usually when this happens.

I really need to redevelop my instincts. I'm being called to it in this area. But I don't know where to start.

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

Mine happens when I'm anxious, too. It's not a constant, background type thing; I need to be in a certain mindset. But once it starts, holy crap it keeps going, and then things start tasting purple and have I mentioned how much I hate the taste of pink? Barbie pink especially.

And I LOVE your game. I should try it one day with someone.

[tokio.livejournal.com]

He really sucks at it! He tries to strategize instead of receive, and I think it impedes my progress. I'd love to play with someone who's more on the same wavelength!