Just People

[brightlotusmoon]

About the whole "Fatties Making Out On TV" article in Marie Claire: Cleolinda and comments said it well.
http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/921195.html

And it makes me think about all the other things people are that are still "socially unacceptable" even though it's the 21st century and we're thisclose to flying cars and nanobots everywhere.

I mean, okay. Everyone has their opinions and preferences and feelings about things.
I can be friends with lots of people who have lots of different opinions -- my social circle bounces around a broad political spectrum. Just because I vehemently disagree with you doesn't mean I would disown you as a friend.
But I admit, I now feel slightly uncomfortable around certain friends (mostly online), knowing that we won't be able to openly discuss certain topics without them cringing over same-sex love or making negative comments about people (while saying that they're not homophobic or racist or sizeist or sexist or abelist, etc). And I feel that in time, the opinions of those friends can and will change. If you've lived your whole life believing something specific and rigid and absolute, it can take a while to open up to all the other options, and even longer to feel okay with it all.
Change is a scary thing. I understand that many people feel safe in their boxes, putting other people in boxes. We all have boxes. I don't care how open-minded and accepting someone claims to be, everyone discriminates and everyone has prejudices and everyone makes judgments.

Boxes are tiny no matter how big they seem. If you're unwilling to move out of your box, at least maybe expanding the box might help.

I keep quoting Depeche Mode in my head.
"So we're different colours. And we're different creeds. And different people have different needs. It's obvious you hate me, though I've done nothing wrong. I've never even met you, so what could I have done? I can't understand what makes a man hate another man. Help me understand. People are people. So why should it be you and I should get along so awfully? People are people, so why should it be you and I should get along so awfully? Help me understand. Help me understand."

Comments

[shaula82.livejournal.com]

People are people.

Agreed. So, so much.

[lovefromgirl.livejournal.com]

I love that song.

-- okay, go deeper, Cassie. Not only do I love that song, I love what it says. in the end, let's face it, we're all made of the same stuff, even if it looks different, so what the hell, haters?

And change is scary, no question. I never liked it much myself. Change is also necessary, whatever the pace. Take it slow or fast, but evolve as you go. How do people stay set in their ways, anyway? I've never understood that one; the one change I love is the freedom to change my mind.

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

Indeed, indeed.

I was having a conversation with two male friends and a female friend, and the topic of gay love on TV came up. One of the guys admitted, refreshingly, that he was a little homophobic - he supported gay marriage, he didn't mind gay love. But, he didn't want to see it on TV or in movies, and he didn't like see gay PDA. And then my female friend - someone I'd been friends with for ten whole years - said pretty much the same thing. I asked them if they felt that way about heterosexual love, and they said that PDA of any kind, with any gender, makes them feel uncomfortable. I don't know if that made it better.
Later, she was over at my house and we were watching a "True Blood" episode On Demand. There was a scene coming up where two men in a car share a long, deep kiss. My friend said, "Ugh, I need to fast forward this. I can't watch that. I don't need to see it. It just makes me uncomfortable." I frowned at her, and I said nothing, but I feel like I should have.

[lovefromgirl.livejournal.com]

There are teachable moments and then there are moments when it's all you can do not to puke, eh?

Show her the "Heart of Gold" episode of Firefly sometime. I'm thinking of the scene between Mal and Nandi. Ask her if that's gross, too. :)

(I think it's utterly hot, myself, but then I think Nathan Fillion and Melinda Clarke are both fine specimens of human body, so I may be biased.)

For me, if a person doesn't like to watch other people gettin' it on (or even kissing), as long as they're totally equal-opportunity about the dislike, I don't mind. That's me, of course, and not you. But what I do mind is making a distinction. Straight, gay, and everywhere in between, I value consistency. Gonna watch the straight folks go at it? You can at least not go "Ew, gross" when you see the gay ones doing to same. I mean, it's not like gay guys find men kissing *women* hot, necessarily, or like lesbians find women kissing *men* hot, but I never do hear those complaints from queer people.

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

She doesn't seem to mind hetero kissing/sex on television - she watches soap operas, which have endless kissing and make-out scenes. But apparently she will fast-forward through those, too. I dunno. Maybe she's just uncomfortable in general. But she admits to being "highly sexual" and such, and she's had crushes on women. I think she may be figuring out herself.

[lovefromgirl.livejournal.com]

I wish her luck in figuring herself out, then.

So tired. So headachy. Went and self-medicated with a tiny bit of beer. Think I may sleep solidly.