Numbers are funny. Also, I'm terrible at math.

[brightlotusmoon]

Upon seeing photos of a Victoria's Secret model who stood at five-nine and had a 23-inch waist, I had several thoughts:

1.Are her internal organs very small?
2. You know, I once had a 23-inch waist, not too long ago.
3. She looks unhealthily skinny, not naturally skinny. I hope she's okay.
4. I want to be 95 pounds again because I'm 4'10" and small-framed.
5. Wait, there's no fat on her body at all in that nude photo. Shouldn't there be?
6. The only reasons I want to weigh 95 lbs again are because my mother praised me when I was skinny and frowned at me when I was bigger, and because I didn't weigh above 100 lbs until I was 26 and I still feel like that's how I should be.
7. Well, if I toned up and exercised more regularly, I would feel better about whatever amount of fat I do have.
9. Weighing 118 at 4'10" with Greek and Sicilian and Romanian and Hungarian genes isn't bad. I am supposed to have wide hips, and besides, my waist is 25 inches, and if it were smaller I would look strange. I could weigh 95, but I would look like death. In fact, I did look like death. It was not fun.
10. And I am staring at photos of Victoria's Secret models and comparing their bodies to mine why again? They're Victoria's Secret models, for Gaia's sake. Snap out of it.

Comments

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that doesn't surprised me. I knew all this model's photos were airbrushed and altered, but every measurement listing showed that she had a 23-inch waist, which actually drew my focus more than the photos. When you're recovering from an eating disorder, you tend to focus on weird things!