So many words and my lips are sealed.
Oct. 18th, 2012 01:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
brightlotusmoonStill fucked up, crappy, reclusive, snarling, burning with electric pain, etc.
To quote a good friend:
"I've been doing okay, but it's like... I just get my feet under me, and something else knocks me over, and then it takes me forever to get up again. And, frustratingly, embarrassingly, it doesn't take much to unbalance me.
People say not to let your illness define who you are, and I agree with that, but often there's no letting about it. It does dictate what you are able and are not able to do. Even when you are able to do more, that's the illness letting up. So a very large part of my frustration is born of being unable to be the person I desperately wish I was."
No arguments, on that, please. I cannot right now. I just... I am too tired and snarly. I was born damaged, I grew up damaged, my damage got worse in my adulthood... I'm not going to pretend I am made of roses and kittens and songbirds. I am a cripple. I am disabled. I am fucked up. I am I AM. Primary to that, I am Joanna, a writer, a reader, a sensitive, a weird nerd with geek properties, a polytheist polyagnostic pantheist pagan who agrees with all the skeptics because everything is true because we have High Brains mashed with Subconscious Brains that work to make Quantum Psychic Brains, and I know I can't prove a damn thing but I don't care if I can't, because I know things and I don't care if my skeptics doubt me.
If I "pray" to my Quantum Psychic Brain that created gods and spirits to fit my needs, so be it. If my "prayers" to my Quantum Psychic Brain are mostly about treating and healing my horrible terrible chronic pains, so be it.
I am who I am. And you know what? My disabilities really are part of that. Other cripples may argue, and I will let them. Nobody ever is the same, and why should they be? I am Joanna the Peaceful Dragon Warrior Princess of the Mediterranean, full of disability, and I. Am. Proud. My spears and swords are raised high.
And that is all I will say for now.
http://brightrosefox.livejournal.com/1570608.html
To quote a good friend:
"I've been doing okay, but it's like... I just get my feet under me, and something else knocks me over, and then it takes me forever to get up again. And, frustratingly, embarrassingly, it doesn't take much to unbalance me.
People say not to let your illness define who you are, and I agree with that, but often there's no letting about it. It does dictate what you are able and are not able to do. Even when you are able to do more, that's the illness letting up. So a very large part of my frustration is born of being unable to be the person I desperately wish I was."
No arguments, on that, please. I cannot right now. I just... I am too tired and snarly. I was born damaged, I grew up damaged, my damage got worse in my adulthood... I'm not going to pretend I am made of roses and kittens and songbirds. I am a cripple. I am disabled. I am fucked up. I am I AM. Primary to that, I am Joanna, a writer, a reader, a sensitive, a weird nerd with geek properties, a polytheist polyagnostic pantheist pagan who agrees with all the skeptics because everything is true because we have High Brains mashed with Subconscious Brains that work to make Quantum Psychic Brains, and I know I can't prove a damn thing but I don't care if I can't, because I know things and I don't care if my skeptics doubt me.
If I "pray" to my Quantum Psychic Brain that created gods and spirits to fit my needs, so be it. If my "prayers" to my Quantum Psychic Brain are mostly about treating and healing my horrible terrible chronic pains, so be it.
I am who I am. And you know what? My disabilities really are part of that. Other cripples may argue, and I will let them. Nobody ever is the same, and why should they be? I am Joanna the Peaceful Dragon Warrior Princess of the Mediterranean, full of disability, and I. Am. Proud. My spears and swords are raised high.
And that is all I will say for now.
http://brightrosefox.livejournal.com/1570608.html
Tags:
- body,
- brain,
- brain damage,
- brain fog,
- cerebral palsy,
- chronic pain,
- disabilities,
- fatigue,
- fibromyalgia,
- humanity,
- illnesses,
- mental disorders,
- mental illness,
- mind,
- mind over body,
- neurological disorders,
- neuroscience,
- pain management,
- power,
- psychic energy,
- psychology,
- random thoughts,
- science,
- weirdness
