Not sure if depressed or just exhausted...

[brightlotusmoon]

Every time I fall down in screaming tears and think, "What is the gods damned fucking point? Why do I even bother? Why does it even fucking matter? Why do I fucking matter? Fuck this..."
...things happen to turn everything around and help me realized just how much I am loved, treasured, adored, appreciated, wanted, needed, desired, admired. I am fun to be with. My company is enjoyed.

I feel better now.

I mean... I feel physically awful, because of the cerebral palsy spasticity exploding everywhere and also the fibromyalgia sneak attack that had me sobbing shakily while desperately swallowing Baclofen and Tramadol with coffee. Oh, it took a while before I felt human.

But, you know... I feel better. Because I am loved.

And now, cosmetics babbling, because it is what I do sometimes.

On my fingernails: Sally Hansen Nailgrowth 'Mighty Mauve' with its golden lavender blush seashell glimmering shine.
On my lips: Buxom Full Bodied Lipgloss 'Hot Mama' with its shining scarlet blood shimmer.
On my eyes: Buxom Insider Eyeliner 'Black Jasper' with its metallic black shimmer, as well as BareMinerals High Shine 'Electric' with its metallic deep teal shimmer.
On my face: Tarte Maracuja Concealer 'Light' with its intense gentle light diffusing full coverage.

I am exhausted and filled with emotional fatigue and physical agony, but I know I look pretty. I can look at my face in a mirror and growl and purr like a dragon and feel practically regal.