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brightlotusmoonA conversation that just happened:
Me: You know... I just realized. In the past several days, no matter what has been happening, I've been forgetting that it is Christmas tomorrow. And I just don't care.
Adam: *smiling*
Me: I mean, like... spiritually? Not like foodening and socializing and such? But in essence. I just realized... I just don't give a fuck that it's Christmas. I'm happy to hang out with people who celebrate it, and eat the foods, you know, like seven fishes and roast meats and pumpkin pie and whatever, and to socialize and hang out and chat and be merry. But Christmas is the one and only holiday I truly do not care about in a spiritual essential way. Isn't that funny?
Adam: Honey... you never have.
Me: ...oh. Right.
Adam: Just pretend it's a second Thanksgiving!
Me: Yeah! I can do that!
Because, you know, we have been making pumpkin pies and other foods to bring to C.'s house for the "traditional Christmas Day dinnering" and such. And I just kept... drawing blanks. I knew we were doing something big on that day. But I had already had Saturnalia and Solstice and Yule, with Solstice gifting and giving, and my brain went, "Wait, there's another one? Shit, what's that? Oh! Is that what all this music and shopping is about?" And this is the first year my brain has done that actively. This is the first year I have actually, actively realized how little Christmas means to me on an essential, spiritual, level. On a social level, it's a day to hang out with friends and family with food and drink. Like most holidays. And I don't even feel weird about it. Although I do feel weird that I feel weird about it...
Me: You know... I just realized. In the past several days, no matter what has been happening, I've been forgetting that it is Christmas tomorrow. And I just don't care.
Adam: *smiling*
Me: I mean, like... spiritually? Not like foodening and socializing and such? But in essence. I just realized... I just don't give a fuck that it's Christmas. I'm happy to hang out with people who celebrate it, and eat the foods, you know, like seven fishes and roast meats and pumpkin pie and whatever, and to socialize and hang out and chat and be merry. But Christmas is the one and only holiday I truly do not care about in a spiritual essential way. Isn't that funny?
Adam: Honey... you never have.
Me: ...oh. Right.
Adam: Just pretend it's a second Thanksgiving!
Me: Yeah! I can do that!
Because, you know, we have been making pumpkin pies and other foods to bring to C.'s house for the "traditional Christmas Day dinnering" and such. And I just kept... drawing blanks. I knew we were doing something big on that day. But I had already had Saturnalia and Solstice and Yule, with Solstice gifting and giving, and my brain went, "Wait, there's another one? Shit, what's that? Oh! Is that what all this music and shopping is about?" And this is the first year my brain has done that actively. This is the first year I have actually, actively realized how little Christmas means to me on an essential, spiritual, level. On a social level, it's a day to hang out with friends and family with food and drink. Like most holidays. And I don't even feel weird about it. Although I do feel weird that I feel weird about it...
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no subject
Date: 2012-12-25 02:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-25 05:43 pm (UTC)It's not even because I'm an ethnic Jew, or a pagan, or a polytheist... it's just... you know... blah?
no subject
Date: 2012-12-26 06:46 pm (UTC)IT"S THE SEASON. We're hit over the head with it. Everywhere we go.
Beauty, and deep spiritual feelings require a bit more subtlety.
no subject
Date: 2012-12-26 07:11 pm (UTC)Except, y'know, Yeshua was born in, like, the spring... so...