It Is Understood

[brightlotusmoon]

Words, and words. My life is all about words.

"Honestly, I kind of get the impression that for the first twenty-something, thirty-something years of your life, this wasn't a thing you were able/allowed to talk about, and what's happening now is a flood of FINALLY being able to talk about it, FINALLY getting in touch with people who have similar neurophysio profiles and can relate to you, FINALLY being able to put all of your thoughts and feelings on the table and figure out what this actually means for you. Of course you're focused on it: you've got mountains of stuff to sort through. I think it's hard for other people to get what this really IS because it's such an intensely personal process. So they make assumptions, instead."
-My friend Sarah, commenting on how/why I keep going on about medical issues affecting me.

I don't want to talk anymore. But I cannot stop writing. My Livejournal is being filled and filled. I need to have a record, after all. I just want to avoid pain-bragging. I just want to stay clinical and curious. I just want to be able to realize every single tiny thing about every part of everything that damages me without going overboard, without making people angry. I am learning. It took a cinderblock punch in the amygdala to make me realize, but I have realized.

To quote the Tenth Doctor: I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.

Orange juice:
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

Comments

[oneonthefence.livejournal.com]

I see you liked my "pain-bragging" term.

I should write a(nother) book. ;)

As I said in my general post, talking and remembering is one thing. Bragging that my life is worse than yours, or yours is worse than mine, or you're in more pain, or I'm in more pain - that's a different thing. That's being a ridiculous person. So there is a difference. There will always be mountains to sort through for all of us who have chronic pain and new conditions. After all, we know we have to deal with this forever. We want to know what is happening to us and what the struggle is. And we learn every single day. So documentation in and of itself isn't bad.

I've taken a lot of my personal health struggles to a private journal, but again, for the new and big stuff, there's LJ. After all, it's where we come to advocate (and yes, complain when needed. Trust me, when I go in for radioactive treatments, I am SURE I'll be complaining for an entry or two. That's some scary, sickening crap). But there's definitely no pain-bragging. Pain sucks for all of us. The end. ♥.

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

You read my mind. :-D

And yep, I am totally using "pain-bragging" and will tell people it was inspired by you.