something's not right here?

I can't believe I fell asleep so early into Game last night...freakin' 9:30 and I had already played Pandora's warning to the Prince about avoiding the west route...was planning on playing more...and then I got tired, went to the Caddy, pushed the seat back, and zonked out. I woke up two hours later when Adam opened the driver's door. We wound up going home early because there wasn't anything left for Julian to do, and Pandora was MIA.

But that's annoying! I did not mean to get that tired. Of course, it could have been the onset of food coma. I did have grilled cheese, chips, pickles, fries, and a chocolate mousse cake, plus half a Guiness, a shot of Jamesons, and an entire glass of water. (Whaaat?)

Hey, at least I'm awake for work...

Oh...and I found something kinda cool. It's a hair spray that actually cleans your hair, sort of. I will say that my hair is a lot less icky-looking. I'll still need to wash it, but it least my head doesn't feel all weighed-down and oily and dirty. This stuff, from a brand called Sebastian, is called Dry Clean Only. It's got benzalkonium chloride, which piercing and tattoo place use to clean and sterilize pierced skin, and triclosan, which dissolves bacteria and dirt. Also dimethicone, which is found in most smoothing products and is also found in the best moisturizers.

KMS makes a product too, called Do-Over, which is almost a dry shampoo spray. It's got sodium lauryl sulfate in any case. I'm waiting for that to come in the mail.

Not that anyone cares, of course. But just in case somebody out there wanted to know.

(no subject)

What type of artist are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

(no subject)

What Do You Wear to Bed?

Brought to you by Faytrial

(no subject)

What's YOUR Inner Hair Color?

(no subject)

what sort of weirdo are you?

this quiz by belle

(no subject)

What kith are you? Find out here.

(no subject)

i tend to speak in riddles, and getting a straight answer out of me is indeed a notable moment. while i may act a little crazy, i am actually quite lucid and tend to be the voice of reason. my sanity is in a good balance with my insanity.

how mad are you?

this quiz was made by piksy

(no subject)

Shut up about the endless mass of surveys and quiz postings. It's my journal. I like quizzes. They're pretty and informative. Fuck off. I'll start posting about my happy days and my problems as they arise.

Thank you and go away.

(BTW, this is NOT to anyone in particular, nor any of my friends--I just know you'd say that)

Christian Baby Soup

Sick...but maybe Watson and the rest of the Ill Omen Crew will find it humorous...

http://www.paganlibrary.com/humor/christian_baby_soup.php

(no subject)

Discordian Zen
Anon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Many kinds of Zen exist. Each variety centers around a particular practice/ rite. Soto Zen centers on zazen. Rinzai Zen on koan introspection. Fuke Zen centers on playing a particular kind of music on the shakuhachi (a bamboo flute). Elemental Zen centers on tea ceremony. Discordian Zen centers on the Rite of Not Knowing as its basic manifestation [see below].

Performing the Rite of Not Knowing we enter into the realms of don't know mind. Letting go of our time and opinions, doing what appears, we become more flexible, less attached. Discordian Zen represents a new Zen manifes- tation. While the Rite of Not nowing represents Discordian Zen's primary practice (open to anyone), there exist additional practices/manifestations. These include:

The Zen Precepts
A new manner of speaking
A new mainfestation of time
Reweaving the web of life
Discordian Zen has no temples, no location, no tax exempt status. It only seeks to manifest, transmit and expand the life-giving Chaos that consti- tutes our original nature, our original enlightenment. If you want to know more about Discordian Zen please write to:

Tundra Wind
PO Box 429
Monte Rio, CA 95462

THE BASIC PRACTICE OF DISCORDIAN ZEN
The Rite of Not Knowing
1
Materials
3x5" file cards (lined or unlined)
Pen
Envelope
Stamps

2
On each file cars (as many as you choose to use) write simple action(s)/ activity(ies) (I prefer one activity/action to a card, but you can have more if you like). For eexample:

Walk around the block 3 times.
Eat a hot dog bun.
Do 50 jumping jacks.
Listen to 5 different radio stations simultaneously for 5 minutes.

3- Mail the cards in to me, Tundra Wind, Box 429, Monte Rio,CA 95462.

4- I shuffle all the cards I receive together and then, through random means, decide how many cards to send back to you.

5- I mail cards to you. You perform the actions/activities on the cards EXCEPT for those activities you wish to veto. This principle of the veto ensures that you don't have to do anything that violates your health and/or welfare.

6- After you finish, mail the cards back to me (add new ones if you wish) and I then put them back in the stack to re-include them in the next round.

The original constantly present and relentlessly emerging condition means nothing other than the life giving Chaos. Through this Rite one enters the original ungraspable, undefinable condition. The Chaotic vibrations of freedom and compassion flourish. Miraculously, one discovers that one loses nothing when one gives everything away.

Feel free to give the Rite of Not Knowing to any you feel will have an interest in it.

Origin: ThelemaNet of Berkeley,CA (415)548-0163 (161/93)

(no subject)

Heaven
Anon

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Pagan died and, much to her surprise, found herself at the Pearly Gates facing St. Peter. He walked up to her and said, "Hello, and welcome."

She stared at St. Peter in complete confusion. "Wait a minute," she said. "I was supposed to end up in the Summerlands."

He smiled. "Ah, you must be one of our Pagan sisters. Follow me, please."

Peter gestured for her to follow him down a small path which went through the gates and down a bit to the left. They walked for a short while, then he stepped back and gestured her forward. Looking past his hand, she saw the verdant fields and forests of her desired Summerlands. She saw people feasting, dancing, and making merry, exactly as she expected. While shaking her head in wonder, the Pagan happened to glance over to one side and saw a small group of people a short way away from the edge of the Summerlands. The people in the group were watching the revelers, but not joining them. Instead, they were screaming and weeping piteously.

The Pagan looked at St. Peter. "Who are those people?"

St. Peter replied, "Them? They're fundamentalists. They're a bit surprised to see you all there, so they stand there and carry on like that all day."

"Why? Don't they have better things to do?"

Peter leaned conspiratorially toward her. "They don't really have a choice. They're actually in Hell. God doesn't like being told what He thinks."

How To Treat Your IT Team

http://www.paganlibrary.com/humor/tech_support.php

God: The Computer Programmer

http://www.paganlibrary.com/humor/important_theological_questions.php

Is Hell Exothermic Or Endothermic?

This is reputed to be a true story from the Engineering Dept. of Texas A&M University.

A physics professor had written a take-home exam for his graduate students. The exam consisted of only one question:
"Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof."

Most students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed), or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing with time. Thus, we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell, and the rate they are leaving. I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people don't belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we must look at the rate of change of the volume of Hell, because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to remain the same, the volume of Hell must expand as souls are added. This produces two possibilities:

(1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure of Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

(2) Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase in the number of souls entering Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So, which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese Banyan during my freshman year, "It will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you!" and taking into account the fact that I have not succeeded in sleeping with her, then #2 cannot be true, so Hell is exothermic.

The student received an "A" in the class.

(no subject)

Top 10 Reasons Why Beer is Better Than Jesus

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

No one will kill you for not drinking Beer.
Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.
Beer has never caused a major war.
They don't force Beer on minors who can't think for themselves.
When you have a Beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.
Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over his brand of Beer.
You don't have to wait 2000+ years for a second Beer.
There are laws saying Beer labels can't lie to you.
You can prove you have a Beer.
If you've devoted your life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop.

Top Good Things About Hell

http://www.paganlibrary.com/humor/hell_ratings.php