Jul. 10th, 2006

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I had a somewhat precognitive dream last night, although naturally it was discovered in hindsight.
I was in my living room which was not my living room; it was stark white with silver furniture, gold light from the windows, and luciously flourishing green plants in the corners climbing the walls. In the background, music was playing softly. Two different CD's: Tangerine Dream's "The Dream Mixes" and Enigma's "Le Roi Est Mort, Vive Le Roi".
Everything was in place, however, same as my living room. The couches were across from each other and the small square white table was to the left of the smaller couch near the wall of fish tanks and in front of the sliding glass door. On that table was a purple vase of flowers (blue, pink and yellow), a very small bright green potted plant with a single red geranium, and my laptop, closed and very very black against all that white.
I sat down in the chair with the wicker back and reached to open the laptop but my hands passed through it. It took me several tries. When I finally got it open and before I could turn it on, the screen came to life with the elemental pentagram background and words began flowing out, words that trailed red, blue, green and purple bordered in white. I recognized them as the symbols for my novel's characters, and poised my hands over the keyboards, and let my brain take over.

And then today, in a livejournal comment, my husband suggested that I stop working on the couch with my laptop and start working on the white table because it would unblock my chi and that corner has great fung shui.

Ha.

Now I need plants and flowers.

I also need more Tangerine Dream CDs.
I believe there are almost a hundred albums.
They did a lot of music since 1970. And they just came out with a new album.
My goal is to obtain, over time, every piece of music they have ever done. My playlist will explode.

Look into the mouth of Cthulhu.
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Part of me just wants to shatter.

La Luna, mother goddess
who shines full and white
among the stars,
why must you tear at me so?

I never thought I would be so desperate for someone to hold me.

But it will be okay.
It will be all right.
It will be over soon.

This is just me being a woman.

This is just me being anxious and strange and uncertain.

And lonely but not.

I wish I knew for sure.

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