coming down

My boss let me go home. It was sweet of him. He said he noticed that I was looking exhausted, I was stumbling, and I was not very coherent.
Food now.
Then rest.
Maybe soon the brain fog and brain zaps and muscle spasms will go away quick.
Good gods, seizure recovery sucks. Not even sleep helps, sometimes.

after the sky falls, the pieces are scattered

Recovering from a partial seizure can take up to two full days, including sleep. If I seize in the evening and go to bed shortly afterwards, I cannot get a full night's sleep because my brain is still struggling to get rid of all the electrical discharge. I may have a few small simple partials in my sleep. My muscles will tense, jerk, and spasm. I will be woken up by the slightest sound or a light turning on and off. I will toss and turn. And when I wake up, it is as though I did not sleep at all.
This was the scenario as I came in to work. My boss knows that if I'm not at least smiling and looking chipper, something is wrong.
I will spend the rest of today feeling drained, exhausted, and shimmering in and out of reality until I can sleep. I'll try for a nap soon enough and see what that does.

At the moment? Reality is superimposed over something else, and I am shimmering fading in and out in between.
Watching television and typing on my computer, these help ground me -- background noise, voices, something to focus on, something to do with my hands. Something that does not involve my having to actually think concrete on the spot thoughts or make real decisions. Hell, I can't even decide what I'm going to think next.

So there it is.

Ice Cream solves everything

Dear Brain,

I may still feel like I've been beaten brutally from inside my own skull, but that's okay:
I'm eating Haagen Dazs chocolate ice cream.
So there.
*sticks out tongue*
*does a little dance*

Love,
Jo