espresso and my brain

I am currently trying to find out why a central nervous system stimulant like caffeine is beneficial to me, as I have both cerebral palsy and epilepsy as well as naturally low dopamine levels; despite the apparent fact that CNS stimulants are not supposed to be good for epileptics.
Any time something stimulates my CNS, like my DLPA and Tyrosine supplements, I have more control over my smooth muscle coordination, fine motor fuctions, seizure activity, and ADD tendencies. Acetyl-L-Carnitine seems to raise my dopamine levels and improve my coordination as well as raising the seizure threshold, though I am not sure of its effects on the central nervous system.
It's gotten to the point where drinking espresso feels like some weird happy drug rush. As in, damn, I have good muscle control. And better control over auras that lead to seizures.
Perhaps I am backwards. Drinking espresso after recovering from a seizure works incredibly well.

conversation: gemstones to spirituality

I had a fascinating conversation last night with my mother about semi-precious gemstones. She's acquired a few years' worth of knowledge by working with Lee and other jewelers. According to her, the best semi-precious stone out there, next to high-quality white diamond, is ruby. Pure, clear, red, pigeon's blood ruby. She also said that rubies and sapphires are pretty much the same stone, just different chemicals and minerals to make different colors. Rubies are, essentially, red sapphires. Which I found very interesting. She loves lapis lazuli, thinks it's an amazing color, but warns that it can crack and chip easily. She doesn't have much to say about the rare and beautiful stones like tourmaline and alexandrite, although she likes them and thinks they're certainly worth a lot. Her favorite stones, as I learned, are baltic amber and freshwater pearl. She likes them because they're "living gemstones" and because they have so much history.
When I mentioned the metaphysical and spiritual aspects of stones that many people believe in, we wound up in a discussion about faith, belief, and spirituality. Mom, being an atheist, doesn't think gemstones hold any metaphysical power, but she won't ever put down anyone who does think so. She likes to say, "Whatever people need to believe in will work for them." She says faith is powerful, and a great source of strength and hope; but it should never be abused, forced, or misguided. She's fine with me being pagan and everything, she just wants me to make sure I know what I'm doing.
Dad would probably enjoy talking about things like that. He's more agnostic than atheist, a born witch like me (rather, we were born with a natural talent for harnessing magic), and in the sixties and seventies he used to read tarot cards and astral project and have precognitive dreams, until something personal happened that made him stop doing it. He's still a witch, still has power, but he is extremely subtle. He knows Mom doesn't believe in it but she accepts and respects it.

photography

It seems that despite full seizure recovery including lots of sleep, I have the darkest undereye circles I have ever had, even with concealing mineral cream foundation. I look bruised. Time for eye cream.

However, I'm still cute.