Confessions of a Tech Wife

Adam is going to New York, Manhattan. He'll be there until Thursday. He has to set up a huge show for SIFMA. His sciatica is still flaring badly, which is breaking my heart. I've starting having nightmares about the year I was seventeen -- the year of the worst pain I've ever had. The family doctor had told my mother that this was the worst case of sciatica he'd ever seen in a young woman. I barely slept at night, couldn't sit still or stand still. Doing anything hurt. It wasn't until I had acupuncture that everything got so much better.
Adam is not me. To him, this pain is annoying. I've sent him off with anti-inflammatory drugs and supplements, fish oil, a massage oil, and the knowledge of several stretches and yoga poses. He says it will go away on its own, his pain. I find myself bursting into tears because I believe it won't just go away on its own. He comforts me and insists that he will be fine. My emotion response is coming out as fear and worry, and more tears. He touches me reassuringly, kisses me all over, loves me for worrying, wants me not to worry.
This morning we held each other in bed and tried not to let go. I don't think we've ever been so reluctant for him to leave on an out-of-state job. When he went downstairs to get his backs ready, I went with him in my bra and panties, and he hugged me and said, "Goodbye, beautiful pink thing" and kissed me, and I closed the front door behind him. I went upstairs, took one of the body pillows, and slammed it against the bed a few times, and gritted my teeth and shrieked for a bit. I went back to sleep with Jupiter curled up near my feet. Woke up shortly after noon, played with the cats (Luna has taken a liking to my yoga mat in the spare room, burrowing under it like a snake). Ate my breakfast, a bowl of acai pomegranate granola. I'll take a walk shortly, with lots of sunscreen and a white hat. It's 90 degrees, after all. I want to get out in the sun, do something to get rid of the fibro flare and unhappiness.

Interesting links and weekend relaxation

Vegetarian diets and Omnivorous diets - a great debate.

You had me and you lost me, Laurell K. Hamilton - Why we stopped reading.

Riceworks Gourmet Brown Rice Crisps, Sea Salt flavor - my new favorite crispy snack.

I made myself coffee from the bag that Adam had customized at Safeway -- half Kona, half espresso, finely ground. A large glass with ice, sugar, organic milk, and cinnamon, and then the coffee. It's delicious. It could be better with cocoa powder, but we don't have any right now.
I feel more energized than I have in weeks. I am now able to ignore the chronic pain flares. Caffeine helps, as long as I don't overdo it. Most people claim that coffee is a bad thing, but for me it's a useful thing.
(Really, nobody can lay claim to an individual's diet except the individual. I get upset when someone tries to tell me that my lifestyles are harmful, because what the hell do they know about me and my body? I think people have forgotten what the word choice actually means. And yes, I am talking about all kinds of choice. I am Pro-Choice in lots of ways. Don't ever let someone else tell you what to do with your self, your mind, your body, etc. I still have trouble comprehending why someone would demand that I do what they think is best.)

I'm going to clean up the living room and kitchen, finish the laundry, practice some basic Pilates, watch an episode or three of "Rome" and "The Simpsons" and play with the cats. And, of course, work on the novel.