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Pain Clarification
Sep. 12th, 2009 04:02 pmDisclaimer: This is not directed at anyone who reads this journal.
My main pain reliever for fibromyalgia and cerebral palsy is Soma (generic name Carisoprodol). There have been accusations that Soma makes me high, as in drug high, as in OMG illegal street drug high. No. This is not true. I may say, "Oh, hey, Soma kind of makes me feel like I'm high!" but the truth is that the reactions I have to the drug are not the reactions of someone on a street drug. Carisoprodol is an analgesic muscle relaxant that centrally acts on the musculoskeletal system. In a nutshell, it relieves pain and loosens tight muscles. (Yes, there is a potential for abuse. I am completely aware of this.)
When I take a 350 mg pill of Soma, this is what happens: The muscles afflicted by cerebral palsy begin to do something that they are literally unable to do on their own: Relax and loosen. Completely. This is such an alien feeling that sometimes all I can to is sit frozen in shock, following the sensation as it floods my body from head to toe. I call it air conditioning under my skin because that is the only comparison I can usually think of. Or rather... imagine how sore and tense and spastic and clenched a muscle group can get due to overuse and soreness, and the imagine it suddenly, violently loosening, almost a mico-explosion of relaxation. It makes you want to break down crying, doesn't it? It just feels so fucking good, doesn't it? No pain makes you feel ecstatic! All you want to do is lay there for a few minutes, maybe hugging a pillow as your senses implode. Sometimes I cry for hours, because I cannot describe what is happening to me, this wonderful thing that will fade in a few hours, this total lack of pain, this total lack of hypertonia!
This is not me being high. My body, which is in constant pain, will eat up the medication to try and bring me to normal. But my version is normal is permanent hypertonia and pain. So, what sort of normal does this medication get me to? It gets me to everyone else's normal. By everyone else, I mean people who don't have hypertonia or similar muscle issues, of course. And everyone else's normal is my high. I don't know what that feels like without a proper muscle relaxant.
Do you get it now? Low, normal, high. Basic stages.
So, quit insisting that this medication makes me a junkie, fuckheads. Better yet, please spend a week in my body, in my brain. Then tell me what it's like. Bet that would shut you up real quick.
I had more to say, but it has fallen apart. Those who know exactly what I mean are more than welcome to add things.
My main pain reliever for fibromyalgia and cerebral palsy is Soma (generic name Carisoprodol). There have been accusations that Soma makes me high, as in drug high, as in OMG illegal street drug high. No. This is not true. I may say, "Oh, hey, Soma kind of makes me feel like I'm high!" but the truth is that the reactions I have to the drug are not the reactions of someone on a street drug. Carisoprodol is an analgesic muscle relaxant that centrally acts on the musculoskeletal system. In a nutshell, it relieves pain and loosens tight muscles. (Yes, there is a potential for abuse. I am completely aware of this.)
When I take a 350 mg pill of Soma, this is what happens: The muscles afflicted by cerebral palsy begin to do something that they are literally unable to do on their own: Relax and loosen. Completely. This is such an alien feeling that sometimes all I can to is sit frozen in shock, following the sensation as it floods my body from head to toe. I call it air conditioning under my skin because that is the only comparison I can usually think of. Or rather... imagine how sore and tense and spastic and clenched a muscle group can get due to overuse and soreness, and the imagine it suddenly, violently loosening, almost a mico-explosion of relaxation. It makes you want to break down crying, doesn't it? It just feels so fucking good, doesn't it? No pain makes you feel ecstatic! All you want to do is lay there for a few minutes, maybe hugging a pillow as your senses implode. Sometimes I cry for hours, because I cannot describe what is happening to me, this wonderful thing that will fade in a few hours, this total lack of pain, this total lack of hypertonia!
This is not me being high. My body, which is in constant pain, will eat up the medication to try and bring me to normal. But my version is normal is permanent hypertonia and pain. So, what sort of normal does this medication get me to? It gets me to everyone else's normal. By everyone else, I mean people who don't have hypertonia or similar muscle issues, of course. And everyone else's normal is my high. I don't know what that feels like without a proper muscle relaxant.
Do you get it now? Low, normal, high. Basic stages.
So, quit insisting that this medication makes me a junkie, fuckheads. Better yet, please spend a week in my body, in my brain. Then tell me what it's like. Bet that would shut you up real quick.
I had more to say, but it has fallen apart. Those who know exactly what I mean are more than welcome to add things.
