Oct. 31st, 2010

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Samhain Oh Ten. Let the harvest flourish and the cider flow. Also, there are pentagrams and pretty stones all over my house. It's all shiny, captain.

Last night, I went to the first Halloween party I've been to in years. I didn't actually know anybody -- I only knew the hostess from LiveJournal. But she and I had become fast friends over the course of a year, as we both suffered from various chronic illnesses and were quickly becoming each other's support system. And she only lived forty minutes away. All I wanted, more than anything right then, was to take her in my arms, hug the breath out of her, and tell her she was beautiful and that everything would be all right.
On Saturday morning, Adam and I slept in a little later than we'd meant to. The first agenda was to head to Charlotte and Billy's for pumpkin carving. We got there shortly after noon, and we were there until almost five. I had originally planned to be at Mandi's by six-thirty, before the party started, so she and I could spent time together one on one. But circumstances pushed that back. It was all good. I knew I'd be giving her those hugs no matter what. Adam and I headed home and readied ourselves. We didn't actually have costumes. We were just exaggerated versions of ourselves: A subtle witch and a sword-carrying cowboy wizard.
We arrived at the party around seven-thirty. We were able to just walk right in, and I immediately fell in love with the layout of the one-story house. It felt fantastically rustic and cozy. We introduced ourselves to people, and were told that Mandi was giving a tour to other guests.
I turned to the left and saw a petite girl in a black wig, short black skirt, low-cut top, thigh-high tights, and high-heeled boots, looking exactly like Shilo Wallace from "Repo! The Genetic Opera" just as she said she would. I grinned and said, "Ahem!" She turned, saw me, and smiled so brightly her face lit up. We rushed to each other and hugged and hugged and I never wanted to let go. I wanted to break down crying right there, because all those things we wrote to each other were swirling in my mind, and it was rather intense. I could almost look her in the eye, and we were both in heels; I liked that. I introduced Adam. Mandi introduced her husband, Toby, who was aptly dressed as Nathan/The Repo Man from "Repo! The Genetic Opera." Adam showed off his trench coat and sword, which prompted Toby to show off his swords and staffs, and things got underway.
In the past, I have never felt truly comfortable and relaxed in a house full of strangers. I have always been shy and anxious and terrified that the wrong things would come out of my mouth. Here, I didn't have to worry. Everyone was my kind of person. Everyone had a fascinating story. Everyone was kind, warm, bubbly, happy, and welcoming. I remember all the faces, even though names began escaping me quickly. Adam stayed near my side to give me confidence and ease, but I didn't need it. I chatted with so many people and laughed so many times I didn't even realize my nerves were soothed.
Close to the end of the night, one of the cats, Ritty, began calling me to play with her. I found myself sitting in the hallway near the master bedroom with Adam and a guy named Jake, playing with Ritty and talking about metaphysics, magic, paranormal encounters, and psychic abilities.
Adam and I left around ten-thirty, since Adam had to work in the morning. We wished we could have stayed longer. It was marvelous. My goodbye hug with Mandi was shorter than I'd wanted it to be. Thank you, Mandi and Toby, for an amazing night. We will be seeing you again.

Also, while working with various tools to carve pumpkins with, Adam stabbed himself in the hand with a nail. His right hand will be hurting for a while. Beyond that, the excitement was minimal.

Also, I am still in a flare. I hid it well all day yesterday, but now I am making the sadface quite a bit. This too shall pass.
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Exhausted, in pain, but very very happy.

Also full of pumpkin soup and pumpkin pudding. And soon to be full of pumpkin pie, sweet pumpkin peach soup, pumpkin smoothie, pumpkin coffee, pumpkin juice... and the word "pumpkin" is starting to look weird. Oh, so much love for such a squash. We will have pumpkin stuff for weeks.

Adam has tomorrow and Tuesday off from work, since he will be doing his election judge duty. We get to spend the daytime together, so we will spend it doing romantic couple things, like running errands and having sex and discussing philosophy and watching movies and doing laundry.

The harvest is over and the dark end of the year begins. For some, it's the start of a new year. For me, it's when the veil is thinnest and I can reach out and touch the other worlds. Sometimes that gives me a headache. It's always lovely.

May the bonfires burn high and long.

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