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Life is good, for now, I think, probably.
Jan. 3rd, 2012 02:54 pmReminder to self: Try to avoid arguing with people whose personal political beliefs are so powerful that they overpower any logic or rationality you bring to the table. Oh, well.
Coffee is good. Chocolate honey coffee is really really good. Painkillers like Soma are good. Kratom and Blue Lotus in liquid form are good. Invader Zim on Netflix is good. Trader Joe's cookies are good. Writing the next chapter in the SF/F novel is good.
I keep waiting for something horrible to happen. I don't know why. Nothing horrible will happen. I do know that horrible things are happening to some of my friends, and there is nothing I can do but love them and hope for the best.
I feel helpless. I feel hopeless. I feel as though everything I do makes no difference in anything. I feel as though I deserve every bad thing that will happen to me. My appetite is almost nothing, it hurts to be touched, and I'm freezing. This ongoing fibro flare is not helping.
Damn you, depression with anxiety. Sneaky bitch. My doctors will hear of this.
Also, winter coughed and decorated some parts of the ground with designer snow. Despite the snowfall being barely an inch, it is causing havoc on the road with traffic. That happens quite a lot. I do not want more snow. Snow and I are mortal enemies. Snow begets ice, which begets my falling onto sidewalks or asphalt. One time, years ago, I had to walk across a parking lot covered with inches of ice in order to get home, and I broke down sobbing in hysterics, crouching in snow and clinging to a tree while my Raynaud's Disease flared. It took me a very long time to cross that space.
Please do not tell me how much you like snow, or I will deathglare at you. I like how Maryland is not having snow right now. However, I nervously expect Snowmageddon 2012 any time now. We are coming upon the start of Lousy Smarch Weather, and winter looms in the distance, that rough beast, its hour come round at last, slouching towards, er, Gaithersburg and Rockville, to be born.
*sadface*
May the gods and spirits of winter be kind to me.
Dear gods and spirits of winter, please be kind to me.
No, seriously, I keep falling down. Also having seizures. Also hurting a lot. This is slightly counterproductive to my goals of not doing any of that.
Coffee is good. Chocolate honey coffee is really really good. Painkillers like Soma are good. Kratom and Blue Lotus in liquid form are good. Invader Zim on Netflix is good. Trader Joe's cookies are good. Writing the next chapter in the SF/F novel is good.
I keep waiting for something horrible to happen. I don't know why. Nothing horrible will happen. I do know that horrible things are happening to some of my friends, and there is nothing I can do but love them and hope for the best.
I feel helpless. I feel hopeless. I feel as though everything I do makes no difference in anything. I feel as though I deserve every bad thing that will happen to me. My appetite is almost nothing, it hurts to be touched, and I'm freezing. This ongoing fibro flare is not helping.
Damn you, depression with anxiety. Sneaky bitch. My doctors will hear of this.
Also, winter coughed and decorated some parts of the ground with designer snow. Despite the snowfall being barely an inch, it is causing havoc on the road with traffic. That happens quite a lot. I do not want more snow. Snow and I are mortal enemies. Snow begets ice, which begets my falling onto sidewalks or asphalt. One time, years ago, I had to walk across a parking lot covered with inches of ice in order to get home, and I broke down sobbing in hysterics, crouching in snow and clinging to a tree while my Raynaud's Disease flared. It took me a very long time to cross that space.
Please do not tell me how much you like snow, or I will deathglare at you. I like how Maryland is not having snow right now. However, I nervously expect Snowmageddon 2012 any time now. We are coming upon the start of Lousy Smarch Weather, and winter looms in the distance, that rough beast, its hour come round at last, slouching towards, er, Gaithersburg and Rockville, to be born.
*sadface*
May the gods and spirits of winter be kind to me.
Dear gods and spirits of winter, please be kind to me.
No, seriously, I keep falling down. Also having seizures. Also hurting a lot. This is slightly counterproductive to my goals of not doing any of that.
