Hello, smoke and shadows

Oh, fuck this. I feel a depressive episode coming on. I am doing my best to do whatever can be done to stem the tide. I can't stop it, I can only make it less horrible. Kind of like that final fairy in "Sleeping Beauty" who managed to divert the curse from instant death to a century of sleep.
When you see a boulder rolling downhill, don't catch it, just get out of its way.
Unless you're someone like my husband, who would punch the boulder into bits. But I'm not Adam and I don't have such specific training in martial arts, meditation, and physics application, nor the psychic and psychological power to move the universe within my head to my whim.
And so I compromise and compensate and work with my brain to treat myself however I can.
Your mileage may vary. On everything.
I'm going to watch more cartoons, read more books, and eat another cookie. My appetite has disappeared, even after that lobster dinner. The lobster was delicious, too.

I am a spearwife

Well, hello, migraine and swollen wrist and swollen knee and electric fire pain in every muscle. I am totally going to stab you with pills and remedies.

Luna apparently wants to help, because is on my lap and she keeps licking my face and purring excessively. How often have you had a cat stick its nose up your nostril?

I feel essentially empty and cold, and my smiles are superficial and there is no laughter. I don't feel; I observe emotions. Sometimes depression with anxiety will do that.

I may have PMS, but that excuses nothing. I will continue to entertain myself, and at some point, something will break through and I will laugh and feel and become a shining, shimmering dancing pixie. But not right now.

Soon enough. This is why I have a Facebook, and these friends who know.