Where did you go when it crumbled?

At this point in my life, I've started shrugging it off and doing everything I can to be everything I can, if that makes sense. I can't deny any of this. I can't wish it away with whatever that magical positive thinking is supposed to do... something about asking the universe to help out? Something about deciding to change overnight and then magically changing just with determination and willpower? I don't know. I think someone wrote a book about it.
However, I'm not going to just fall down and let it take over. That's pointless. I don't plan on sitting back and hurting. I'm going to plan on standing up, running around, and hurting because hurting will happen anyway. I have life to live and things to do. In fact, some of the medicine I've been taking has been helping me remember stuff I keep forgetting, sometimes. Good times, if I can remember them. I need to keep writing everything down. I'm not even worried, upset, or frightened. I was born this way. I can't make it go away, but I can make it better one step at a time. Especially with qi gong. Screw yoga, qi gong is awesome for me.

Quoting:
Post-impairment syndrome is a combination of symptoms that affect adults with cerebral palsy. According to the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke, this combination includes fatigue, pain, arthritis and weakness that is often a part of daily life. This symptom is due to the muscle abnormalities and bony changes that happen as you age with cerebral palsy. You can use three to five times more energy each day than an able-bodied person just to complete your daily living activities. This extra expenditure of energy combined with the spasticity and extra wear on the joints is a hallmark symptom of adults who suffer from cerebral palsy.

Links!
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Cerebral-palsy/Pages/Complications.aspx
http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/cerebral_palsy/detail_cerebral_palsy.htm
http://www.cpirf.org/stories/465
http://www.disabled-world.com/artman/publish/health-challenges.shtml
http://www.accesspress.org/2009/01/growing-older-with-cerebral-palsy/
http://www.caregiverslibrary.org/caregivers-resources/grp-diseases/hsgrp-cerebral-palsy/cerebral-palsy-and-aging-article.aspx
http://www.cerebralpalsytherapy.net/cerebral-palsy-and-fatigue.html

I already know a lot of this stuff... but so many people don't. And that's where the misinformation happens. The denial, the scolding, the disbelief, the insistence that people with cerebral palsy can concentrate all the pain away, the accusations that people with cerebral palsy deliberate seek to be crippled and debilitated. No matter how well a person thinks they know you, they don't have your condition. And that's where it gets tricky. Because they believe that you can overcome the whole thing. And that is where education and information come in.

Being Alice: Blank Memory Colors

Also, I think I had a seizure before waking up this morning. When I spoke with my mother, she said I sounded like I'd had a seizure. I am starting to... remember things. My brain feels haunted and full of kaleidoscope wilderness. I vaguely recall seeing Alicia. I vaguely recall seeing Amara, the way they struggled to keep my neurology stable. Amara, pale like alabaster, kept changing her eye and hair colors so I knew she was emotional.
I need to go do... the... you know, the post-seizure, the postictal things, the management, the getting better procedures. It has been a long long mind day. I did not know why I have been so tired. Luna in particular has been following me around, meowling like a queen calling her kitten. She has been licking me whenever she gets close. In that same vein, Rose has been trilling for my attention when I come into the bedroom, staring at me with very wide eyes. She begs me to pet and hug her, and now I realize why. Even Jupiter has been yowing at me when he sees me.
Luna is curled up at my feet now. When I go to have a shower, I will leave the bathroom door open just enough for her to come in, in case she wants to watch me.
Cats know. Cats always know.

I've been feeling randomly ill all day with fibromyalgia flares and allergies. And, now that I remember, seizure aftereffects.