The Return To Innocence

Stuff I haven't really talked about lately:

1. Crooked Cerebral Palsy Compensated Fake Yoga, aka Modified Zen Meditation Stretching, for ten minutes, because what my body attempts to do is not any kind of traditional yoga, although it is hilarious and laughing at myself is good. (Which is also why I rarely discuss it - half my friends list is full of actual yoga enthusiasts who practice actual modern yoga. And since I don't believe yoga actually truly cures anything, let alone cures me, I stay quiet. It's like medical cannabis. If people would stop saying it's a panacea for every illness ever, I'll talk about it.)

2. Allergies. Soreness. Stiffness. Burninating. Did I say that loudly enough? And, naturally, fibromyalgia means everything GOES TO ELEVEN. And oh, yes, that's a thing. I've started feeling embarrassed about the word Fibromyalgia, since so many people associate it with whining and inability to "slap a band-aid on it and walk it off weakling" so I've started just calling it Myalgia, which is literally what it says on my neurologist's paperwork. Like, when she sent me for bloodwork, the paperwork said that my active illnesses included Intractable Epilepsy; Insomnia Not Otherwise Specified; and Moderate To Severe Myalgia, Connective Tissues. Apparently there are other paperworks that list not only the Cerebral Palsy, but the Periventricular Leukomalacia, the Autism Spectrum Disorder, the ADHD-Inattentive, the Clinical Major Depressive Disorder, the Multiple Anxiety Disorders, the Social Phobia, even the Tokophobia. Plus, there's a note saying that the Myalgia is causing gradual destruction of gray matter, except in medicalese. My neurologist and my pain management doctor are genuinely stunned and impressed that I'm living quite well on the "small doses of drugs that rarely need changing." I've been called Fascinating and Fun To Work With (I make doctor laugh a lot).

3. Dietary Stuff. I have cheerfully denied everyone throwing fad diets at me, even if they feel that those fad diets might actually be real illnesses and food allergies. The only food components that bother me are large amounts of pure soy and kiwi fruit. Plus, I just plain don't like corn or maize. Going gluten-free did nothing, I adore dairy, I crave red meat, and bread is good. And I dislike kale. I love seaweed.

4. Pharmaceutical drugs, dietary supplements holistic treatments. They are all saving my life, and everything is both poison and magic. Shut up.

5. Lifestyles. I like my solitude. After watching MLP's "Maude Pie" I have concluded that I have Maude moments as much as I have Pinkie moments, in my head, and my Fluttershy moments and Twilight moments are balanced. My friends by now understand that I'm good at switching back and forth quickly. Currently, I am both Maude and Fluttershy. Deadpan and flat affect, shy and soft, desperate to keep the peace and remain stable.

And now, I shall write a thousand poems about rocks.

Seriously. Maude. This is a stand alone episode, so anyone who has missed the new season will be able to watch.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48kyeZ02RAk

I forgot to take the morning Ultram and Soma before we went to Adam's doctor check up appointment and it was raining and my rhinitis was flaring and my knees were aching stabbily and blah blah blah everything was horrible. But we got our flu shots and there was a CVS Extra Bucks coupon for 18.50 when I scanned my card, so we got a bunch of stuff and saved a bunch.
And when we got home, I went upstairs and prepared to sit on my couch and turn on my laptop, which meant I rapidly got a Luna in my lap kissing me and purring, as usual, which happens every time I sit down at my laptop on my couch; it's almost Pavlovian. OMG, Mama is going to the couch! Run run run! Jump on the lap! Get hugs! Yay!
Cats are fun.
Every time I marathon 'Futurama' I feel better. I'm not sure why. Actually I am sure why, but you don't need to know, because I'm always watching that damn show and you don't need to hear about it.
I have so, so, so many books to finish reading. I shall begin that forthwith. The painkillers have been actively and nicely painkilling since four this afternoon.
Also, I have weird pains in my right abdominal area near the bladder and surrounding muscles, so I am on a UTI watch and taking cranberry juice and extra extra ascorbic acid. So far, so good. But things happen. It is most likely just fibromyalgia being a bitch, plus gas bubbles, since I've been belching all day and the pain feels slightly better after each belch, but the spot is still tender and annoyingly stabby.

I have no idea why, but I love the shit out of this Wikipedia explanation.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speculative_fiction

Except the trees can go fuck themselves. Oh, wait. They did. They keep doing it. Get a room, trees.
Bless you, allergy treatmnets.
And migraine treatments.
And musculoskeletal pain treatments.
And arthralgia treatments.
Yes, that's enough outside-being for right now.
I think I shall watch some Mystery Science Theater 3000 on Netflix. Preferably with a cat on my lap.
I also have "Soft Kitty" going through my head. Why isn't "The Big Bang Theory" on Netflix yet?

Fuck, I don't even want to move today.
But my hands move, and they fly across the keyboard. I am writing about cosmic dragons and cosmic unicorns and the psychics who have to live with them.
I've decided that yes, dammit, if you are psychotic and reality-bending enough, you can drag people physically into the astral plane for a little while, with enough shielding. Don't deny me this, I'm the author and my antagonist bends realities. So there. Also, dragons have eagle-like eyes (birds and reptiles share common ancestors, damn it), unicorns are any color they want to be, telekinesis can help heal fractures, and my main protagonist is about to have a very very bad day with no way out.
Maybe I just need to vent through characters.
Also, I am having a bad day. I feel like shit. Everything aches and burns. My sinuses throb. I took my vitamin D, my vitamin C, my magnesium, my MSM, my neem, my oregano and hemp oils. I stretched, I exercised, I meditated, I thought positive thoughts until my brain was leaking rainbows. I feel like shit. But that's okay. There are no miracles.
I'll feel better soon.

http://www.sherrygranader.com/nutrition-tip-3-allergies.htm
http://www.lifespa.com/article.asp?art_id=17
http://homepage.eircom.net/~kathymcmahon/allergiesneem.htm
http://www.uncleharrys.com/infobase/product/triphala.php

I already know all of this, but this is for the benefits of people on my friends list who might not know. While I love Benadryl and Claritin, I don't want to rely on them constantly, and I know people for whom they just don't work.

Most of this was drilled into me by Mom during my childhood. She still calls to ask if I'm taking Co-Q10 and Omega-3 (I am). Lately I am favoring the large doses of Vitamin C (4 grams or more) and probiotics, along with omega-3. CoQ10 is still expensive.

Triphala, Trikatu, and Neem, of course, are excellent. As is Xlear, which is the natural answer to OTC nasal sprays (Oh Em Gee, I love it so).

Total Fatigue Day.
Perennial allergies -- severe -- for the past few days. Inflammation all over, especially knees, ankles, and neck. Spasticity. Tension. Lowered seizure threshold. Freezing hands and feet.
I am giving myself permission to complain.
Dear body, get better or else.

I've been doing some research on cerebral palsy's effects overall, how it leads to other disorders and problems down the road. Things my doctors never explained. I am learning about it all through talking with other members of the cerebral_palsy community.
http://community.livejournal.com/cerebral_palsy/176792.html
This post made me realize many things. And made me understand just what I need to do to work with myself.
I remember physical therapy as a child. That's it. Not sitting down with various doctors to discuss what might happen in my adult years with other medical problems; certainly not epilepsy or inflammatory disorders or allergies or fatigue problems or breathing problems or hypersensitivity or anxiety. Then again, everyone was too busy concentrating on the therapy. I understand.

I'm not exhausted enough to want to sleep, not energized enough to even climb stairs.

Lunch break in less than an hour. I'll see how I feel after food. No refined sugars. My body asks for chicken and mushrooms and citrus fruit, maybe a banana. My boss should have his miraculous homeopathic allergy anti-inflammatory tincture in the office if I still feel like hell.