minor personal rant, good morning

[brightlotusmoon]

I know one of my biggest problems with my overall leg and back pain is that I refuse to wear flat shoes. However, my feet naturally refuse to walk heel to toe. The tendons are stretched too tightly. I walk on my toes; always have. Mom always nudged my hip and said, "Weight shift," because I put all my weight on my favored right leg. Mom always nudged my foot and said, "Put your heels down," because I walked on my toes like a constant ballet dancer. When I was young, I was too scared to wear any heel higher than an inch: my balance was so awful I was worried I'd fall over. Yet as I got older and more aware of fashion (and my own tiny stature) I fell in love with two-inch heeled boots, because boots wrapped around my ankles and gave me support, and my feet loved being lifted by the heel. Unfortunately I only ever wear heeled boots now, and my knees and hips have muttered in protest while my feet have argued back in favor. The sad thing is that even walking flat hurts; I have learned to deal with the fact that no matter what, my legs, back and hips will hurt because of the cerebral palsy.
I have considered saving up the money to buy a pair of those special shoes that are supposed to naturally align the spine; those Earth Shoes with negative heels. I see ads for them in the back of my natural health and yoga magazines. There is a pair of their boots that look good (Inspire) yet I don't know if I want to pay $130.
I think much of this boils down to the fact that I don't want to seem so gods damned short. I'm 4'11" and I've never quite accepted it. If it had not been for the three months premature birth, the horribly low birth weight, the cerebral palsy, and the failure to thrive, I might have grown to be eye level with my 5'3" mother. My father, at 5'7", is not tall either, but I could have been taller than this.

Yes, currently I am in extreme pain. However, I did also just bang my right knee against the desk here at work. And scraped some skin off of it too. Hurrah.

Comments

[suzanna-o.livejournal.com]

I have a couple pairs of Earth shoes, and the Mirage boots. :)
What size shoe do you wear? I can probably get you a product sample pair if you can take a six. Not the boots, sadly, but another style if you want to try the shoes in general.

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

I wear a 5.5 without orthotics, 6 with orthotics or insoles. I usually prefer size 6; more wiggle room. :)

[suzanna-o.livejournal.com]

Ah, all I find at present is Earth sandals in size 8. I'll let you know if I run across a better option for you!

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[faire-damsel.livejournal.com]

*Hugs* I'm 4'11" Too And I've NEVER Liked Wearing Heels! Mainly Because, Like You, I Walk On My Toes {Tight Tendons. My 5 Year Old Niece Has Them Too And Actually Had To Wear Braces To Correct Hers} And My Balance Is Dreadful! I Had A Pair Of The "Earth Shoes" Once And They Were Quite Comfortable. Truthfully Though, I'm Rather Fond Of Being So Tiny. I Love Being 4'11"! The Neuropathy is My Major Problem With My Feet. If They Aren't Numb So I Can't Feel Where I'm Walking, The Nerve Pain Is Horrible. *Hugs* And My Feet Are Actually SHRINKING! They Were Never Big To Begin With A 5 Or 51/2 At Most, And Now I'm Wearing A 3 1/2 In Kid's Sizes. {Bone Density Loss, Perhaps? ::Sigh::} So No Sexy Shoes For Me. Anyway, I Just Wanted To Make You Smile With The Knowledge That There Is Someone You're "Eye To Eye" With! I Hope Your Knee Feels Better Soon! Ouch!

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

Aww... well, I am grateful that there are other women my height, of course! I was walking behind one going to the metro this morning. I almost wanted to walk shoulder to shoulder with her just to prove to myself she was my height! Heh.

[faire-damsel.livejournal.com]

*Giggles*

[blackrose2004.livejournal.com]

i love you at 4'11" i think its really sexy. and i can try to work on your leg's, feet and back sometime soon. that might help a little.

*snuggles*

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

I'd love that. :)

[wishkey.livejournal.com]

I never thought of you as short. I thought of you as small...completely proportioned, and petite.

Of course, that doesn't help in a world that is designed by a 6'1" man, with women's clothing designed for supermodels over 5'7". I know, because I am neither.

You know what? Most of us women aren't. the problem isn't that you are short. It's that you are a woman in this unrealistic world. ;-) Hee!

My advice: as often as possible, go barefoot!

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

Mmm, true.
And I love barefoot!

[todabrilla.livejournal.com]

Well, it can suck to be an outlyer on the other end as well (*bangs knees on desk*). Sometimes I think that airplanes and showers and many, many other things (a veritable Raiders of the Lost Ark temple of deadly traps) seem to have been designed by The Committee of Short and Angry Engineers (CSAE) as a way of getting back at tall people. And I know this hardly mitigates things for you, but you might derive some satisfaction knowing that you won't hit your head on a too-low ceiling fan or risk life and limb in some other anti-tall-person trap. Oh yeah, and I know these don't compare to your chronic issues but my growing pains in adolescence were quite awful.

Anyway, I do hope you can be as comfortable and pain-free as possible.

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

Sounds like my husband! *hugs, on tippy toes*

[todabrilla.livejournal.com]

*Hugs back.* :) Have a good day!

[sidheblessed.livejournal.com]

Personally, I love being short, it means I can walk under branhces everyone else has to duck under and other cute things like that. Whiel I love the lok of hels, I often wear flats simply because they'r more comfortable for me in general.

[thesacredfire.livejournal.com]

4'11" is such an adorable height. I love women that are on the shorter end. It gives a very sexy cute look to things. Its a bit amusing squishing my short friends into my boobs, hah.

I'm typically a heals only kinda gal myself. But I dont go below 3.5", I perfer 4" heals and up. I've always hated my height. I'm right on average, although I seem to end up taller than most of my female friends at my 5'6". I've felt so out of it this past year since, change of style and moving has caused me to loose most of my heals, so I've been stuck in my slummy old docs that I've worn since I was 14. Personally, I'm a sucker for insanely tall platforms. Being brought up to 6 foot amuses me greatly, I don't know why because they arn't exactly smart to wear when drinking and stairs are involved. I understand the heals addiction though.

I wish I could wear spike heals but my knees hate me for that love. I end up in so much pain because I'm forced to walk on the balls of my toes which transfers all of the weight to my knees. Weight on mostly the knees = massive amount of pain in no time.

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

*laughs*
My best friend is 5'8" and delightfully curvy, and whenever we hug I love resting my head on her breasts.
I applaud any woman who can wear heels above 4 inches, I really do.

Thank you for loving short women. That makes feel better. :)
My friend Lena is 5'3" and very long and lithe, and she loves my size and figure; she's always complimenting me and calling me a goddess. But I guess my self esteem in that area is still kind of low, because it's still hard to accept!