distance

[brightlotusmoon]

Adam will be in Las Vegas by the time I get ready for bed.

It doesn't matter what sort of "long distance relationship" you have, or a relationship where one partner travels constantly; it's still a heartache. You could be three states apart all the time. You could be on both sides of a country, or a continent apart. One of you could be traveling constantly.

I hate when some people try to one-up each other in this. As if they deserve more pain and heartache because their lovers are more of a distance away. They cry that no one understands; they feel they are the only ones. To them I implore that they acquire even a modicum of maturity, or else they should shut up. It doesn't matter; it's not exclusive.

Adam and I started out exclusively long-distance, and stayed like that for two years while I finished college. Now his job sends him all over the country for days, weeks at a time. I'm used it it, I'm fine with it: It still hurts. I miss him before he even leaves.

I admire, applaud, and sympathize with anyone who has this and has gone through this.

Comments

[todabrilla.livejournal.com]

I only spent a year with long-distance dating but the distance both geographically and emotionally was too much and it ended a four-year relationship. I have tasted how hard it can be and can only imagine how difficult it must be to bear recurring separations over as long a time as you have. You have my sympathies, and my hope that your love will endure and help you two through the hard times.

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

*nods*
It really takes a strong, committed heart. I think the familiarity of having started as a LDR helps me cope with the consistent separations.

[morningstar4.livejournal.com]

Anthony and I aren't apart that often really, but when his job DOES send him away, it's torture, so I know what you mean. Even when one of us is off having fun we miss each other. I think the fact that you and Adam miss one another so much just shows how much you love each other. And it makes the reunion all the sweeter. :)

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's never easy no matter what's going on. You were there at our beginning; I think I must have poured my heart out to you many times!

[katielilie.livejournal.com]

Andrew and I did the LDR thing when I was in college too. Part of the reason we got married when we did was because I didn't want to be away from him anymore. Then he joined the army and we did it again, and could be faced with the same thing again in the future. Now that I am in a relationship with John, I'm in the same situation. Since we started our relationship (about nine months ago) we have been in the same state all of three times (with one of those times being a rather extended stay, but still), and we're planning one more visit before the one year anniversary, so on average we see each other once every three months or so. I think the most important thing to remember is that physical distance has nothing to do with emotional distance. :)

*hugs* It sucks, but I know that the love you guys share will see you through.

[queen-lily-rose.livejournal.com]

*Hugs* No Matter What Type Of LDR It Is, There's The Pain Of Separation. Tris And I Were In A LDR For Over Two Years Too. My Heart Goes Out To You Both.

[threnodyeris.livejournal.com]

it is hard, yes, but it also affords opportunities that other people don't have.

being apart at the beginning of a relationship allows me and mine to still be ourselves and have our own lives while figuriong out how we fit together. it gives me time to miss her and time to get to know her in other mediums and on non-physical levels.

however, all of this comes with the understanding that it won't be forever.

my heart goes out to you that, married, you still have such long periods apart. but i suppose it still gives you time to miss each other, and things to talk about, and perhaps helps keep everything new.

*hug*

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

And that is exactly it. I have watched so many relationships crumble because there wasn't enough time apart to allow for personal individual growth and acceptance.

You're right; we do develop strong bonds because of that time apart now. When he comes home he can share stories of things he did, places he visited, people he met; and it gives me a chance to understand the wide country through his perceptions. Life is not boring! It gives us a chance to behave like young, love-struck kids (again) sometimes.

I also feel that it's the understanding that it won't be forever that really pushes and drives us all. You me, Adam, Cynthia, etc. A long distance relationship will eventually die unless there is a guarantee that sooner or later, you will be together. Even in cases like Odysseus and Penelope, for example. Took him twenty years to come home, and she still waited.