The Return To Innocence

Yeah. The snow and snain and slush was all worth it. I got to the CVS pharmacy and back by bus without incident. Plus, a free battery operated shaver thanks to CVS Reward Dollars and coupons (I may never need to balance painfully on one-legged in the shower again).
Ah, snow, you've arrived. This part is cool with me. You are soft and powdery and easy to shovel. No ice just yet. You're barely a few inches. I can hobble and wobble and limp and stagger easily.
You see, snow, I don't actually hate you. I only hate your frozen ice parts. The part that really hurts when I slip and crash. See, at least right now you are still powdery and cushiony enough to help me land softly.
I don't hate snow... we just don't get along.
Now I must decide if I want to take the bus to the pharmacy now or tomorrow. I don't know if it matters anymore. These particular refills can wait a couple of days.
Also, whoever invented those magic gloves that let you use your smartphone must have known about Raynauds Disease.

I totally went out to the pharmacy. It started sleeting. A guy asked me if I needed a ride home. He had seen my cane.
Yeah. The snow and snain and slush was all worth it. I got to the CVS pharmacy and back by bus without incident. Plus, a 'free' battery operated shaver thanks to CVS Reward Dollars and coupons (I may never need to balance painfully on one-legged in the shower again).
I'm learning how to use the cane to help me march, scrape, and also test for icy spots. I think the only actually good thing for me is that cold weather helps my asthma issues ease up. Part of me really wants a quad cane for more properly balanced stomping through snow.

To quote Scottish singer Susan Boyle regarding her official autism diagnosis: "Now I have a clearer understanding of what's wrong and I feel relieved and a bit more relaxed about myself."
-Also: why I won't stop talking activistly about it and why I embrace names and labels, but also why I will stay silent at parties, since I seem to be a talking disaster.
Time and place. Time and place. Just because medical science words are a ASD special interest for me doesn't mean I should, well, you know the rest.
(To certain people:
I'm not like you. I embrace diagnostic labels. Names have power. I know what to do with a named thing. You truly feel I must be giving up and in. I truly feel you must not know me well now that I am changing again. Always changing in tiny ways no matter how deeply I stay predictable and ever the same. So I have decided to personally not tell you about all the new details my changed self parts. You don't need to know and I don't need to be smacked down for speaking.
Facebook and LiveJournal are places to chat with like-minded people who will give me stories. You don't have to listen. It's okay. It's just random life.)

Also. Jupiter has been randomly lying on the bedroom floor on Adam's side of the bed, forlornly, so I grabbed a couple of Adam's tee shirts and draped one over his pillow and one on the bed so Jupiter could be surrounded by Daddy's scent, and so I could wrap him in a shirt and snuggle him if needed. He is very emotionally needy and co-dependent, far more than Rose who literally begs for love, so any chance to make the boycat happy and not depressed is a major goal. He's the kind of cat who will gently flop himself onto your pelvis and torso for hours just because you're on the couch. He always seems so anxious. He just wants to know if you will love him or feed him and he'll miss you when you leave. He meyowls up from the bottom of the stairs because he has a toy, he wants to find you, and he knows how great the acoustics are. He's harmless and wonderful, and very very attached - I cannot bear to think of what will happen to him if something happens to us. Poor sweet puppycat.

Speaking of scent, Adam got me a bottle of perfume during his Las Vegas job trip a couple of months ago - Nude by Rihanna ("Fruity aromas of guava, mandarin and pear are located at the opening of the composition. The heart is blended out of white flowers: gardenia petals, velvety Sambac jasmine and creamy orange blossom. The base consists of sandalwood, vanilla orchid and "second skin" musk."). We both love it on me. Sweet and soft and floral and deep. Now I really want Killer Queen by Katy Perry because it is a fruit and flower explosion ("Top notes include wild berries, dark plum and bergamot accords. The main note of the heart is velvety red flower, Celosia, but there are also Sambac jasmine and rainbow plumeria. The base contains cashmere, patchouli and liquid praline"). Oh, indeed.
My personal signature scent, created via Etsy, called Moonlight Witch, consists of real pure extracts Amber, Blue Lotus, Dragon's Blood, Coffee, Chocolate, Green Tea, Coconut, Frankincense, Myrrh, Blood Orange... but I do love exploring various notes and scents when I can.

What I really enjoy most about this sort of weather is that I feel free to walk as much as I like. I find it more difficult to be outdoors and moving in the colder months, not just because of the Raynaud's Disease and sensitivity to cold weather; but because I don't feel free, no sun warming my skin, no realization that I can walk as far as I wish without shivering.
On Monday while riding the bus home, I decided to get off at the stop across the street from the Redmill shopping center and just walk home from there. It was a vigorous twenty minutes, and the muscles in my legs were happy to be "challenged" (yes, a twenty minute brisk walk can be somewhat of a challege when I have chronic pain from CP).
Yesterday, on the bus, I developed a craving for Haagen-Dazs chocolate ice cream. Across the street from where I work, there is a Haagen-Dazs shop, but a small cup of chocolate ice cream, containing two or three scoops, costs over four dollars. At the local grocery store, a pint costs just under five dollars, and a quart costs just over six dollars. I rode the bus past my usual stop across from my townhouse community, to the stop near the grocery store. I picked up a quart of ice cream, three chocolate bars, and a box of trash bags to keep in the hallway closet that would be used for the cans in the bathroom and bedroom (I clean the litter box in the bathroom every day, so I go through trash bags fairly quickly).
Then, I decided not to take a bus back, since waiting for the bus would mean sitting at the stop for twenty minutes. I decided to walk home, since that would probably be a good twenty-five to thirty minutes. The walk was enjoyable, and in ten minutes I was more than halfway home. I saw a white truck that had pulled over to the side of the road just ahead of me. The driver leaned out of the window and waved at me. I recognized Michelle, who is one of my neighbors. She offered me a ride, and then informed me that if I really wanted to walk home from the grocery store, there was a shortcut. I thanked her; but I privately realized that I would rather take the longer way. More exercise that way. I don't go outside in the sun for very long anyway, and I never seek to tan or sunbathe. So getting out there and walking, letting my skin soak up the sunlight (with sun protection of course) makes me feel beautifully alive and connected with nature.

I also discovered in my research that Sea Buckthorn Oil is a very effective non-chemical sunscreen. I have spoken to people from all over the country who say that when they apply sea buckthorn to their skin they don't burn at all. They get regular check-ups at their doctors' and have no signs of skin cancers. One woman I spoke to lives in the heart of Arizona. She runs a skin care company that specializes in sea buckthorn products. She has been using sea buckthorn as a moisturizer for several decades and has not had a sunburn once, she says. She says that many of her customers use sea buckthorn products as sunscreen -- one man in Australia has a testimonial on her website about it.
I am currently talking with an aesthetician and helping her research various oils, butters and extracts, to see which ones have effective sun protection and UVA/UVB filtering properties. So far the winners include sea buckthorn oil, green tea oil, avocado oil, shea butter, mango butter, emu oil, raspberry seed oil, cranberry seed oil, and jojoba oil. However, because there is no FDA regulation or lab testing, we can't say that these oils and butters can be used as sunscreens, and we can't label them with SPF ratings. We also can't tell people that they are sunscreens, we can just say that they can "offer some sun protection and help heal sun-damaged skin" and "help boost sunscreen properties." We don't want to be held liable if someone does use the oils and gets sunburned. We just go with personal experience. Although combining them with zinc oxide is my favorite way to go, since zinc oxide is more than just a sunblock and does have an actual SPF rating. I know several people -- myself included -- who have had bad skin reactions to most chemical sunscreens. It's also fun to rub the sea buckthorn all over. It makes my skin so soft and smooth. It's good research.