Trying

Mar. 26th, 2010 09:16 pm
brightlotusmoon: (Default)
[personal profile] brightlotusmoon
I've accepted that I'll probably be in pain for the rest of my life, pain in some form of another. I'm not going to deny, ignore, or sugarcoat it. I won't put on a happy face. It's just what my life is and will be. People can tell me over and over, "Just think past it, just push through it, don't let it control you, don't let it become your life." That is fine. It is wonderful advice. Sometimes I don't feel like taking that advice, and that's fine, too.
I think that people with chronic pain disorders, chronic illnesses, neurological disorders, and brain illnesses need to understand that often it really is okay to cry and yell and scream and sob. Let it out. Get it out. But live life, too. We live with our pain, but we are not our pain and our pain is not us. Find ways to live. Try.
Sometimes I want to fall over and stay that way. I don't, because I don't know how to stay down. Not even when I'm forced. I try. I fail a lot. But I keep trying.
I don't know what else to say.

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