Wharrgarbl and stuff
Aug. 2nd, 2012 12:14 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
brightlotusmoonWhen I checked my bank account, I noticed that a very large deposit had been made. Turns out it was my past due benefits, or back pay. Not as much as I'd thought, but enough to pay some bills, have a safety cushion, and feel better. I'm spending a couple hundred just to pamper and comfort myself, then the rest will go to medical bills, house repair, debt, etcetera. As it should. And then, next month or so, my monthly deposits will start coming I feel so strange now. This is really happening. This has happened. Oh my gods, this is it. I am a professional disabled person. Well, then. I feel like screaming. So I took Klonopin and readied myself for bed, after friends arrived and hugged me and left and hugged me. Things have... altered. I have altered.
When I saw my physician, we discussed pain management. I will be making an appointment with a Pain Specialist soon. Also an orthopedist and a psychiatrist. It is my job now. To treat my syndromes. To work with a team of doctors. To ease my symptoms. To try and get better. My job is to get medical help and work with my conditions.
I am overcome with Feelings. But that is natural and normal. At least I can buy my best friends lunch for all they've done for me.
I'm exhausted, and my right ovary is rebelling with screams and howls and stabbing, and my knees don't feel right, and my head is foggy, and my wrists ache, and I'm sleepy. But things, they are happening. I am grateful.
When I saw my physician, we discussed pain management. I will be making an appointment with a Pain Specialist soon. Also an orthopedist and a psychiatrist. It is my job now. To treat my syndromes. To work with a team of doctors. To ease my symptoms. To try and get better. My job is to get medical help and work with my conditions.
I am overcome with Feelings. But that is natural and normal. At least I can buy my best friends lunch for all they've done for me.
I'm exhausted, and my right ovary is rebelling with screams and howls and stabbing, and my knees don't feel right, and my head is foggy, and my wrists ache, and I'm sleepy. But things, they are happening. I am grateful.
