Guides, Guardians, Spirits, Angels, Parts Of Me, Fictional Creations, All Of The Above...

[brightlotusmoon]

Especially for naamah_darling

Here is a post for questions about my Healthy Multiplicity, and the three (now potentially four) female people/entities who inhabit my brain and help me cope with all my various vast disabilities and illnesses.
This is also a post for others to discuss their own.

-Serena: The first known guide, who guides me through all and every pain, tension, emotion, and fear, who is my inner nurse.
-Alicia: The second known guide, who guides me through epilepsy and postictal states, who is my inner mage.
-Amara: The mysterious third guide with me from birth, only recently human, who guides me through overall brain damages, memory problems, cracks in the walls, neuronal crumbling.
-Amber: the previously silent, hidden fourth guide who acts as a preserver of my sanity, who seems to catch me when I fall so deeply I fear entrapment, who deflects darker energies and turns negative into positive.

Disclaimer: This is not a case of DID, which is a very, very specific disorder. My girls do not leave my mind to use my body and voice, although there have been very rare postictal states in which Serena has spoken through me when I was fully incapacitated; however, I was still myself, just unable to articulate until she lent her voice.
Healthy Multiplicity is extremely common in perfectly healthy people. It is often seen as a form of coping mechanism for many disabled people, who need to sometimes retreat into their creative minds to preserve themselves, to soothe their mental conditions, to know that they are able and capable and strong. Because sometimes, being reassured by loved ones falls hollow, and you know your own mind well enough, and your own mind knows you well enough.

Comments

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

I think that may be the separate, yeah. I don't get triggered (seizures and pain flares don't really count, I don't think). And nobody takes over; I still feel symptoms very intensely. Also, they won't come out unless I go in - I need to actively go inside my mind and seek them out. The exceptions are seizures, when Alicia automatically finds me, helps me through, then hands me off to Serena, who helps me.

[oneonthefence.livejournal.com]

That's probably the difference - the trauma-based trigger. A word won't bring out a state you use during a seizure, for instance, but it WILL bring out Johnny for me. Serena would not take a hammer to your wrists to punish you, but Ruby would do that to me. You can still feel, whereas I am unaware (to an extent - Ruby is always, always with me. As much harm as she has caused, she has also protected me in ways no one else ever could). You go to them - I depart from myself, watch myself "go away," and am someone else.

I do think I get it. But like anything - like I will never understand CP fully because I don't live it like you do, just as you will never understand MS fully because you don't live it like I do (but we can still relate and share stories and be there for one another, and there are SOME similarities) - we have very different circumstances which cause our lives to be complicated by myriad factors. And dear gods, that was a long sentence. :)