Wasn't there a rap song devoted to a woman's ass in a pair of jeans?

Almost none of my jeans or slacks were fitting during this entire Shark Week of bloating. The few jeans and slacks that did fit wouldn't zip or button without insane difficulty, which left me wearing long tee shirts to cover up my open fly.
So my husband was sweet and took me out and graciously bought me a few pairs of pants in a larger size, which I can feel better about. Later, we will look for flowy skirts, because Rugged Warehouse had none. They suggested Burlington's or Marshall's or Ross, etc. But at least I've got some lovely new capri slacks that come to my ankles, and a pair of jeans that, while horrendously gap-tastic in the back, fit just fine with a bloated midsection. Oh, hormones, how I hate you.
Also, hyperlordosis. I hate you too. When I said I was curvy, I did not mean it literally, by which I mean there are no pants anywhere at all that truly conform to my shape without having at least a small gap in the back of the waist. Hyperlordosis is an excessive inward curvature of a portion of the lumbar and cervical vertebral column. It means that my lower spine looks kind of like a weird concave shape from the side and it makes my butt stick out and my abs stick out, so pants of any kind will look funny and I will look funny while walking because even if I pull my hips forward, my ass sticks out. Even if I were to stand up as straight as I possibly could, my ass would still stick out. If I lie down on a flat surface, my lower back can't touch the floor. Also, it fucking hurts.
I really need to start strengthening my hip extensors and hip flexors, which get ignored during major abdominal workouts. Augh.
Ooh, time for a painkiller and a muscle relaxant before I punch something and regret it!

TV, OCD, OMG

As we were watching the opening sequence of this week's new "Futurama" episode, I automatically said, "No talking! Talking is for commercial breaks! Laughing and whispered comments are fine!" and Adam raised his eyebrows and said, "You certainly take your Futurama seriously." *
Why yes, yes I do. :)
A lot of episodes are hit or miss, sometimes both, but I love the show no matter what it does. It can be heavy-handed in social and political matters until it falls apart and stops making sense (it made sense before?), and I just won't care. I'll still laugh while saying, "Wow, that sucks. Eh, whatever. The whole thing is still funny, even the bad parts."
I will publicly admit I am a huge fan of Futurama, My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic, Big Bang Theory, and Doctor Who... even the bad parts. Well... fuck that, I am mildly obsessed with My Little Pony and Futurama. I know many episodes by heart; does that count?
However, if anyone tries to claim that I am truly "obsessed" with any TV show, they're lying. Also, never ever call me "obsessed" with anything unless I actually admit it. I am very sensitive about that, since I actually have OCD and get twitchy when "obsessed" is thrown around too casually. To that end, I am not actually obsessed with any of these shows. I just love them.

The big this is that when I want to show friends things, I want them to watch those things, to look out for details, to point out silly things softly enough so that the talking doesn't overwhelm the shows' dialogue. I would do the same for them. I get that many people like to do commentary and speculation, but that's not what I do. I hate missing chunks of scenes because someone is speculating and commenting. Dude, just watch and find out what will happen, stop trying to guess the wrong answers. I don't want to keep saying "You need to listen to the dialogue and watch closely, because this part is really clever." Hint, hint.