The Return To Innocence

Almost none of my jeans or slacks were fitting during this entire Shark Week of bloating. The few jeans and slacks that did fit wouldn't zip or button without insane difficulty, which left me wearing long tee shirts to cover up my open fly.
So my husband was sweet and took me out and graciously bought me a few pairs of pants in a larger size, which I can feel better about. Later, we will look for flowy skirts, because Rugged Warehouse had none. They suggested Burlington's or Marshall's or Ross, etc. But at least I've got some lovely new capri slacks that come to my ankles, and a pair of jeans that, while horrendously gap-tastic in the back, fit just fine with a bloated midsection. Oh, hormones, how I hate you.
Also, hyperlordosis. I hate you too. When I said I was curvy, I did not mean it literally, by which I mean there are no pants anywhere at all that truly conform to my shape without having at least a small gap in the back of the waist. Hyperlordosis is an excessive inward curvature of a portion of the lumbar and cervical vertebral column. It means that my lower spine looks kind of like a weird concave shape from the side and it makes my butt stick out and my abs stick out, so pants of any kind will look funny and I will look funny while walking because even if I pull my hips forward, my ass sticks out. Even if I were to stand up as straight as I possibly could, my ass would still stick out. If I lie down on a flat surface, my lower back can't touch the floor. Also, it fucking hurts.
I really need to start strengthening my hip extensors and hip flexors, which get ignored during major abdominal workouts. Augh.
Ooh, time for a painkiller and a muscle relaxant before I punch something and regret it!

The package from the Gap.com came today. I'm still extremely glad I decided to just go with cropped, capri, and girls' plus size pants from now on.
From the Women's section, I'd ordered the Classic Capri in beige (Old Stone) and tan (Camel), and the Wide Leg Curvy Cropped Pants in tan (New Camel Cord). The inseam for each (Tall, 27 inches) was perfect for my height. I'd ordered the size 6, which meant a 37 inch hip, an inch and a size bigger than I normally am, since my hips tend to widen and shrink by an inch with the tide of being female. The waist actually fits well without too huge of a gap. It's not really... gaping. Just loose. But I can live with it, and if I really want, I can do a tuck and sew to make the waists smaller on all the pants.
I'd also ordered the GapShield Chinos from the Girls' section, in Black. Plus size 14 was basically equivalent to all the other pants I'd bought, and the inseam was just right. However, the chinos had a wonderful unique feature: an adjustable waist. This meant that I could pull the waist as small and tight as I needed. No sewing, just elastic and buttons. I honestly don't understand why they don't do this for the women's pants. This adjustable waist thing is a curvy girl's dream.
I'm happy enough to order a couple more of the girl's chinos in the future, and maybe another pair of the classic capris.
I feel satisfied, finally, as a short tiny curvy woman.
Also, adjustable waist! Best idea ever.