Being Alice: This is not a fairy tale

From my Facebook, earlier today.

***
Oh, for Apollo's sake...
Dear Epilepsy and Fibromyalgia: Kiss my hemiplegic hyperlordotic ass. I'm going to take pills and hope for no more painful seizures today.
Yeah, I'm currently not... um... braining... too good. But I can still type! And my vast lessons in grammar and vocabulary and spelling have not failed me! So I can fake it.
I look pretty good for a girl who is recovering from an epileptic seizure that caused insane pains, spasms, and creepy hemiparesis with tremors. Concealer helps.
***

As for the seizure itself, I know more about the seizure than I do about what was happening during.
I was shoved through the looking glass, pushed down the rabbit hole, and dragged through briars and thorns and thunder and lightning. My invisible enemy was snarling in a language I couldn't quite translate. I was being pulled toward a vortex made of octarine.
(see: Terry Pratchett's discworld. http://wiki.lspace.org/wiki/Octarine and http://www.colourlovers.com/blog/2008/04/19/octarine-the-imaginary-color-of-magic/)
I could feel cold wind against my face and I closed my eyes. I was shaking, and my skin was burning. The snarling thing howled, either in pain or anger. I looked up to see Alicia wrestling with... nothing. The nothing shimmered, took on a shape, and became a creature that looked vaguely like a boar, a boar whose front hooves looked like hands with claws. I will call it a boar creature. It was screaming, and Alicia was screaming, and her hands were glowing, and the boar creature was burning. Alicia reached into her jeans pocket and pulled out a butterfly knife, which flipped open to become a long diamond-tipped dagger, glowing blue and violet. She stabbed the boar creature in the throat. The creature snarled in human tongue, something like "Return..." before it vanished entirely.
Alicia ran to me and took my hands. When she asked, "Are you all right?" her voice was coming from the end of a tunnel. I whispered, "Yes" and realized that my arms were covered in burns, my wrists raw and bleeding where the boar creature had grabbed me. Alicia knelt and gathered moss and leaves from puddles, breaking the leaves open to reveal a golden liquid. She made bandages for my arms and told me that she would carry me out, so that Serena could take me and lead me back to the front of my mind. Alicia picked me up and ran, and the wind from the vortex faded. I leaned my head on her shoulder and watched her long blond hair fly behind her. She reached the edge of the glass within minutes, and I looked up. Serena was waiting, her arms open, her dark green eyes full of concern. Alicia passed me into Serena's arms, nodded, and ran off like a deer.
Serena set me on the floor and unwrapped my bandages. My arms were healed, but they and my entire body still felt burned and tense and in extreme pain. Serena cupped my face in her hands. "Relax," she whispered. "When you come out of this, rest as much as you can. Take your medicine. Don't stress." Her voice sounded like small bells. She leaned down and pressed her lips to mine, so I could breathe her in. She smelled like sun and snow and forest and rain.
She helped me up and told me to wake up very slowly. And then I felt my body, my muscles, my joints, my pounding head, and I opened my eyes to find myself on the couch, leaned all the way back, my neck stretched back and my arms thrown back. It took several minutes to even move.
I do need to take my pills now.

(Note:
Serena and Alicia are characters I subconsciously created to help me psychically deal with my disabilities. Serena handles all chronic pains, except seizures, which happen in Alicia's realm. Alicia and Serena have never crossed into each other's realm, but have been able to touch both at the same time. I call them my spirit guides or spirit guardians, but they specifically respond to my medical problems.
Alicia has waist-length light blonde hair dark blue eyes and cool fair skin; she is dressed in blue jeans, a blue tee, and blue boots with rubber soles. Serena has very dark brown hair with gold streaks, extremely pale skin, and dark red full lips; she is dressed in a dark green velvet shirt and black silk pants with tall black goatskin leather boots.
I didn't consciously imagine their appearances or voices or anything about them, but I'm glad they are with me. I think they are part of who I am, allowing me to deal with my disabilities in creative ways.)

Heavy breathing and stuff

Via the Facebook.

So, yeah. I can't straighten my left arm. It's bent in that classic chicken wing position that happens so often with spastic cerebral palsy, and the wrist and fingers are curled in that claw position that happens so often with spastic cerebral palsy. If I need to do anything involving my left hand, it must be with elbow and wrist bent and fingers curled. Trying to straighten out makes me turn whit
e and make a tiny high-pitched shrieking sound. There's a muscle in my left bicep that won't stopped spasming and it's sending massive pain signals to my brain, and the rest of me is hurting massively, and this is just not fun. I'm going to try Flexeril and Soma soon, because the codeine is just dulling everything. Also, my neck muscles are twitching and I hate that. /whine, yada yada yada, whine
(I apologize for nothing, to quote Hedonismbot.)
I hope I can reach one of the pain specialists soon. I'm hoping to get a prescription for Tramadol to replace the codeine.


I love our Darth Fridge so much. Every time I walk into the kitchen, I see this black monolith of a refrigerator and I'm startled and awed until I remember that, oh yeah, we got a new fridge, after eight years. It's beautiful. I'm not used to a working water filter with a working ice maker on the side freezer door. I'm not used to transparent food drawers. I'm not used to doors that stay fully closed and have alarms. It's just so... awesome. The Force is strong with my fridge. Now I just need a Darth Vader magnet that makes noises... or maybe a lightsaber magnet, making lightsaber noises.
***

For some stupid reason, the skin on my hands and between my fingers are so dry and flaky that the eczema is flaring. Time for healing hydrators and nourishing moisturizers. Moringa and tamanu oils, here I come.

Time to (carefully) play with eyeshadows: Maybelline Color Pearls Marbleized Eyeshadow Duo in Downtown Denim and Persuasive Plum, and Too Faced Exotic Color Intense Eye Shadow in Midnight Mist and Poison Orchid. My eyes do really really well with blue, purple, gray, taupe, gold, and mauve shades. Dark brown shades make my eyes look sunken, red shades make my skin look faded, and green shades make my whole face look sick unless they are extremely dark. I love teal as long as it leans toward the blue side. I don't know how to layer or blend different shades, so I usually tend to just use one shade all over the eyelid, or I will layer a duo with one shade as a liner. I am still struggling to perfect my eyeliner application. I prefer automatic pencils to regular eyeliner pencils or gel liners. I always check ingredients, but it doesn't really matter since my concealer or foundation is always either organic or a blend of natural ingredients along with synthetic, and I use it as primer.

Skin stuff that is awesome

Well, the one called Inspiration has become my favorite perfume ever.
http://www.theskinrevolution.com/_iiitawk.html
Also, in the product section, I adore Revitalize, Restore, and Kiss It for my skin, hair, lips.
http://www.theskinrevolution.com/_revitalize.html
http://www.theskinrevolution.com/_restore.html
http://www.theskinrevolution.com/_kiss_it.html
Also, the owner, Michael, is really sweet and fun.
I haven't worn perfume on a regular basis, but Inspiration will change that. Also, Tawk is a really cool kind of music.
The muscle relaxants and analgesics have finally started working. And the perfume and the music have made me feel much better. Yay for stuff!