bisexuality

[brightlotusmoon]

Last night I had a dream in which Charlotte and I slept together for the first time, and I now recall a coversation she and I had a few months ago, about being a bisexual woman married to a man. I think I'm pondering on it because I was reading several messages on forums by lesbians, who feel that bisexuals are stupid, disgusting people, that bisexuality is stupid, that you should be attracted to either men or women but not both, etc. And of course my first thought was, You yourselves face constant discrimination for being lesbians, yet you so readily and happily strike down bisexual women because they like men as well as women? What the bloody fuck is wrong with you people?

It's just... bizarre. So bizarre. And so inane. I didn't even realize I was bisexual until long after Adam and I started dating -- he was the one who encouraged me. We even had a rule that if I ever did want to have sex with a woman, he'd allow it as long as he knew the details. And so far, I have only kissed and groped, and only a few very close female friends, two of whom I love dearly. Charlotte was the very first, however. But she and I have been friends for as long as I have been with Adam; she and Billy were dating around the same time. Billy and Adam are perfectly fine with our potential sexual feelings, and often jokingly encourage it.

The day I was reading up on Billie Piper, I came across an image of her wearing a white tank top and white panties. I pointed to it, looked at my husband and said, "I want that. All wrapped up in green and red ribbons with whipped cream." And he happily agreed.
I am often the first to point out a beautiful woman; I don't get jealous when he does. I believe this is a healthy thing for our relationship. The fact that I like women's bodies as much as he does makes it fun to stare together.

I just... I just wish I understood why the hell bisexuality is viewed as "wrong" by some members of the gay community, as much as it is by straight homophobics.

Comments

[heartgut.livejournal.com]

This is called "Others Othering another." I think it's a way that people develop a sense of community (even though it's a particularly unsavory practice)-- through excluding Others. It's peculiar that this behavior happens among people who have been excluded by a broader community, but the act seems to carry some weird sense of power.

... What drives me crazy is that sexuality is so personal and subjective; criticizing someone's attraction to others is just... smarmy, among other things.

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

I think you hit it on the head -- being excluded carries a weird sense of power, allowing some people, in their minds, to exert power and control over things they don't understand, because they have lost that larger sense of power and control to the "majority" around them, so to speak; they need to feel "bigger, better" than someone else...

I love whom I love. I am who I am. That is all. That is all that should ever be.

Thanks for the perspective. :)

[heartgut.livejournal.com]

I do what I can ;)