The Return To Innocence

And yet another email from a well-meaning stranger who insists that if only I would stop all my medications and eat certain foods for the rest of my life, I would be completely healed and all my disabilities would vanish. Ah, willful ignorance, my nemesis, we meet again.
Dear Idiot: If you happen to read this, allow me to correct your incredible errors. No one should ever attempt stop any prescription medication without consulting their doctors. No food or combination of foods can cure medical conditions that began with brain damage from birth. It is extremely important to eat a healthy, balanced, fresh, whole diet. Such nutrition will absolutely have a positive effect on overall health, immunity, and various bodily functions. Such nutrition will even contribute to the body's own amazing healing powers. However, to claim that food, and food alone, is the one and only necessary treatment for every conceivable ailment is irresponsible, ignorant, and stupid.
Trust me, I get where you're coming from. I was raised for twenty years on supplements, herbs, vitamins, fresh food, exercise, and the occasional pill to deal with a temporary ailment. I didn't touch a long-term pharmaceutical drug until my late twenties. And do you know what happened when I did? It changed my life. Certain drugs began to control my seizures, anxiety, depression, nerve pain, muscle tension, body spasms, and other major neurological and physical disabilities. I had no idea how wonderful modern "Big Pharma" could be when it was applied responsibly. You see, I had spent so long believing in the mantra of "Big Pharma Is Evil" that I ignored dozens of symptoms and attempted to heal myself with supplements and holistic treatments that did not help in the ways I actually needed. I scoffed at suggestions of prescription drugs. I snarled at the thought of being on long term painkiller drugs. How could I? I would never trust that awful killer Big Pharma! Guess what? I was a complete idiot. I was so stupid that I let myself go on for years with symptoms and syndromes building up until I had no more choice - I had to get professional help.
I am forever grateful for the pharmaceutical drugs that I take. They really did save my life. But hey, I will never, ever tell anyone that they should do what I did, either go totally holistic or totally pharmaceutical. I believe so strongly in the balance of the two things that I still take my supplements and alternative treatments every day. I make sure that every herb, vitamin, food, and exercise works as well as possible with my "evil scary Big Pharma drugs." This has been such a beautiful thing for me that I plan on doing in until I die.
Yes, my symptoms still flare on a regular basis. Yes, often the only thing that soothes my pains and aches and twitches are those pharmaceutical drugs. But do you know what I will never want? I would never want anyone to hear my story and assume that they can live with a disease, disorder, or illness and heal themselves just by eating a bunch of fruit. As much as I love all that fruit, I eat it as food and as supplemental medicine. I live in the 21st century, in an age of powerful medicines; I can eat all the roots, leaves, powders, elixirs, fruits, and vegetables I want, but that will not cure any of my medical conditions. I accept that and I embrace that.
And here's an amazing fact: Many of those evil, scary pharmaceutical medicines were extracted and synthesized from good old food, herbs, plants, trees, coral reefs, and all sorts of glorious, fantastic things found in nature. Isn't that wonderful? Sure, a great deal of sciencey things happen to turn nature into drugs. But without nature, we would not have medicine. So don't you fucking dare tell me how I should treat my health conditions. If I wanted to ask, I would have asked. And you could have just made a kind suggestion. I probably would have thanked you and smiled and done some research. So be nice. Typing this whole thing out took some time. And now, if you will excuse me, I need to take a painkiller to ease the fiery pain in my hands and wrists.
Thank you for reading. I wish you good health for all your days.

I brewed half a pot of coffee using four tablespoons from a sample bag of 7-11 Fusion Energy Coffee. I remember when Adam bought it to see if Billy might like it, since Billy loves 7-11 coffee, and is so tolerant to caffeine that he can drink several pots of coffee without feeling a buzz. The little packet was still sitting unopened, so what the hell, I opened it and brewed six ounces.
I took a 12-ounce glass, added ice, two tablespoons of sugar, some cinnamon, and a few ounces of milk. Then I filled it up the rest of the way with the coffee. On its own, the coffee actually tastes sweet. It's got yerba mate, guarana, and ginseng. Combine that with caffeine, and the energy boost would probably be insane.
However, that's not actually true. I feel veryveryvery awake and energized, but not insanely. I also feel focused and happy and full of stamina. Which for a fibromyalgia sufferer, is a fantastic thing.
It's good coffee, too.

Also, this is very bizarre and I'm not sure what to think of it. I've never heard of it before. But the idea isn't new. Yerba Mate is one of those stimulating herbs that's actually medicinal, and has been used in lots of products and for centuries. Hell, I take it in capsule form five mornings a week along with Maca. It saves me money because I have no desire to stop at any of the three or four coffee shops on my way to work.

Woah.
1800 mg of Ashwagandha and 1800 mg of Gotu Kola.
Totally blew my crown chakra wide open.
This intense rush is making my head spin.
But oh gods it feels good.
No more bone-crushing fatigue, and I'm grinning like a Chesire Cat.
Can't do this every day, it's a bit intense. But damn it's wonderful.
All my muscles are relaxing, slowly, carefully. My pain is gradually fading. This makes me happy.

Apparently gotu kola is good for awakening and balancing the crown chakra...

I took my usual supplement cocktail for pain today, in the wake of that one Cymbalta pill making me feel like hell.
Yep. It still works.
The only reason I went to the doctor anyway was to see if there may be a stronger, prescription drug that could help the pain.
So far? Not really.
But ha ha, yes, my intuition.
So: MSM, Hyaluronic Acid, Acetyl-L-Carnitine, Alpha Lipoic Acid, Passion Flower, and Ashwagandha. Doing very well. Pain is manageable. Truthfully: I stopped taking that supplement cocktail a few weeks ago to test out my body's response, make sure the chronic pain was real. Suspicions were confirmed. Pain was strong. The cocktail works.
I just heard back from the doctor. She wants me to continue the Cymbalta for at least two weeks, but if I choose not to take it at all, that's fine too (nice to know). She says the side effects and symptoms will go away in a couple of weeks. However, I don't think I want to be on this medication for more than a couple of weeks anyway. It is a psychotropic drug, and withdrawal might be hell. I've been reading posts and comments from people on forums about this drug, and most of them say that it works minimally on pain and only for a few weeks, and side effects and withdrawal symptoms are hideous.
It is lovely to know, however, that my doctor cares enough to give me the choice not to take it. Some might not.
I will listen to my intuition tonight.